Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, there has been a significant shift in demand where a significant number of people have started to hire personal trainer instead of doing exercise at home or playing outdoor sports. There are several resons behind this development that I will explain in this essay. The main aim of society is to improve their health.

To begin with, In developing country like India and Pakistan, are heavily populated where residential building have been constructed on empty lands. Cities are not properly designed and the government have not allocated any public parks and grounds for citizens. At the same time, awareness of health has been increased. They would like to stay fit by any means and personal trainers are the one who are fulfilling their requirements.

Furthermore, personal trainer have gained a knowledge over the years about fitness and many techniques of intense training, which seems interesting alternatives because nowadays, people in our society works for longer hours and they cannot allocate proper times for sports. This development often push them to join a gym where they can achieve their fitness goals by doing intense training with the help of fitness trainer.

I personally believe that this development has impacted individual's lifestyle in negative way because few individuals wants to achieve their goal in short period and in order to achieve it, they may end up taking steroid or massive amount of protein which may cause many health issues in long term such as cardiovascular disease and heart attack.

To sum up, alternative of sports may be a good option if people have focus on gradual improvement. Although there are some negative consequences in our society, many fitness trainer have contributed good enough to improve overall health index.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the reasons for hiring personal trainers and whether this is a positive or negative development. Your position is clear throughout the essay, particularly in the later paragraphs where you state your belief that it has negatively impacted lifestyles due to shortcuts like steroids. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the reason regarding urban planning in India and Pakistan is introduced with specific context, but the explanation of how this directly drives people to hire personal trainers is somewhat under-developed. To move to a higher level, ensure that every supporting point is fully explored and linked explicitly back to the main question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance and distinct paragraphs. You use standard cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'To sum up' to signal the direction of your arguments. However, cohesion at times feels a bit mechanical, and referencing can occasionally be unclear, such as in the sentence starting with 'At the same time, awareness of health has been increased. They would like to stay fit...' where the pronoun reference is slightly ambiguous. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different points, but ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would help lift the overall flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'residential building', 'intense training', and 'cardiovascular disease'. There are, however, some spelling and word-choice errors that do not impede communication, such as 'resons' instead of 'reasons' and the omission of plural markers in phrases like 'personal trainer' and 'developing country'. Despite these minor inaccuracies, your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your central arguments clearly, though greater precision and awareness of word formation would enhance your expression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You display a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences such as 'In recent years, there has been a significant shift in demand where a significant number of people have started...' There are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues like 'personal trainer have gained' and articles missing or misused in 'In developing country like India and Pakistan, are heavily populated'. While these errors persist, they rarely impede communication, placing your grammatical control firmly within the expected range for this level.

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