Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent times, there has been an increasing trend to hire personal fitness trainers, while the excitement of playing sports and doing excercise has sharply declined. This is primarily due to the rising awareness and increased affordability among people. This essay will keenly explore the reasons for hiring a personal fitness trainer and argue that it is a highly positive development that might ensure a healthy lifestyle among people.

The growing trend to hire personal fitness trainers is due to the health awarenes among people which was nonexistent previously. Many people tend to get inspired from actors who have personal gym trainers and nutrtionists to guide them regarding excercise and healthy diet. To illustrate, one of my friend who was very chubby would often watch videos of Indian actresses doing workout in their gym with their personal trainers. This motivated her to hire a personal trainer too, so she could also tone her body like the actressess. Moreover, the affordability has increased over the last few years with people having better financial status to pay high salaries of these trainers.

I firmly assert that this is a highly positive trend, especially for the elderly who are sometimes unable to play sports due to medical reasons. Having a personal fitness trainers provides you with the advantage to do exercise under constant supervision. For example, my father, who is a cardiac patient can not play rigorous sports, so he often does workout under the supervison of a certified fitness trainer to avoid any potential mishap. In addition, people nowadays have busy routines where they hardy find any time to play sports but the availabilty of a personal trainer compensates for it. Personal trainers can give you tips to adopt a healthy lifestyle even in the midst of a busy routine.

In conclusion, the increasing trend of hiring personal trainers is attributed to the rising awareness among people reagrding the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. I reaffirm that it is a highly positive trend, particularly for the elderly and working individuals to stay healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by exploring the reasons behind the popularity of personal trainers and taking a clear position that it is a positive development. The ideas presented are extended and supported, such as discussing increased health awareness inspired by media and the benefits for elderly individuals like the author's father. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in parts, such as broad claims about busy routines and societal changes, which keeps the development at this level. The position is maintained consistently from the introduction through to the conclusion, ensuring the overall requirements of the task are met effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from an introduction of reasons to personal examples and concluding arguments. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, with transitional phrases like 'Moreover', 'To illustrate', and 'In addition' guiding the reader through the arguments. Paragraphing is managed appropriately, and referencing between sentences is generally clear, though occasional mechanical transitions prevent the cohesion from being completely seamless and natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used provides an adequate range for the task, successfully communicating the intended ideas. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items and collocations, such as 'rising awareness', 'financial status', and 'constant supervision', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word form and spelling, such as 'excercise', 'awarenes', 'nutrtionists', 'actressess', and 'reagrding'. These slips in spelling and minor inaccuracies in word choice prevent the vocabulary score from rising into higher bands, maintaining a functional yet somewhat restricted lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures like conditional and relative clauses. There is a reasonable level of control over basic grammar and punctuation, but several errors persist throughout the text, including article omissions and subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'one of my friend' instead of 'one of my friends', 'a personal fitness trainers' instead of 'a personal fitness trainer', and 'can not play' instead of 'cannot play'. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and the reader can easily follow the intended meaning.

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