Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this era, people prefer to hire a personal trainer for their workout instead of doing outside activities such as playing football or cricket.This eassy will discuss the negative impacts of having personal trainer than engage in doing excerise classes.

First of all, most people have hectic lifestyle. People spend their entire day in their workplaces and they do not have enough time to do other activities such as playing sports which eventually becomes reason for stress because a trainer only can help them with achieve their body goals .When people do other sport activities they get socailze with other people which help them to forget about unnecessary workload.

Secondly, When people hire a personal trainer, They have to purchase the memebership which can cost few hundred dollars. This is also a financally burden on the pocket.According to news article from Times of India revelaed that twenty people out of hundred just puchase the membership and than never call the personal trainer.In addition, some people also got scammed when they bought the memberships online.

In my opinion people should start invest their few hours to do morning excerise or playing sport activities.Eventually, when people intreact with other fellows while doing excerise it create better world where people have gossips and realease a stress hormone called diabotic and have a healthy lifestyle as well.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially, fulfilling the requirement to discuss reasons and whether the trend is positive or negative, but falling short of the word count minimum. The length requirement is NOT met, as the response is twenty-seven words short of the two hundred and fifty-word minimum. The writer presents a clear position regarding the negative impacts, noting that trainers create financial burdens and isolate people from social activities. However, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion around stress relief relies on general assertions without sufficient elaboration or concrete examples. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend their arguments fully and meet the minimum length constraint.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation evident in the essay, with a clear attempt to use paragraphing to separate different points, such as lifestyle factors in the second paragraph and financial costs in the third. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or overused. Transitions like 'First of all', 'Secondly', and 'In my opinion' are mechanical and formulaic. Referencing is also problematic, as seen in the phrase 'a trainer only can help them with achieve their body goals', where logical flow between sentences is disjointed. To improve, the writer must employ a wider and more natural range of cohesive links to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey basic meaning. The writer attempts some less common words and phrases, such as 'hectic lifestyle', 'unnecessary workload', and 'financial burden', but these are accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and spelling. Examples of lexical errors include 'memebership', 'puchase', 'financally burden', and 'revelaed'. Furthermore, the phrase 'release a stress hormone called diabotic' demonstrates a complete misuse of terminology. These errors occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range and improve accuracy in spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying primarily on simple sentences and basic complex forms. Attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, such as in the clause 'According to news article from Times of India revelaed that twenty people out of hundred just puchase the membership and than never call the personal trainer.' There are frequent errors in grammar, including missing articles ('a personal trainer than engage', 'invest their few hours'), incorrect prepositions ('with achieve'), and subject-verb agreement issues. Punctuation is also erratic. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from attaining a higher score.

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