Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In several countries, majority of people hire a personal fitness trainer, rather then engaging in sports or attending exercise classes. It is because of lack of awareness, trends of having trainer influenced by social media or celebrities. This essay will discuss the root cause and whether it is positive or negative development.

On the one hand, having personal trainer is great idea. They acquires specific knowledge about fitness and they are trained personnal. Training under those helps with accurate training, how to pose and which exercise is require for person. Moreover, it has influenced by social media. Many people learnt from it, try to do some, but they failed. It is trend around the social sites where people hire trainer for showcasing or impressing public. Secondly, numerous people do not know correct exercise and how to do it. For instance, any beginner at gym hire personal trainer who only focus on them and train them.

On the other hand, many people do not have enthusiasm about playing sports or exercise classes. Despite it has enormous benefits, they go for private trainer. It has negative impacts on society. They only rely on trainer. They do not aware of their strength and pros and cons of exercise and sports. Such as, adreanalin rush which helps to unwind ourselves and recharge our battery after a long day. It gives an opportunity to recognise our true selves. For instance, playing sports helps anybody to cope up with stress and internal conflicts, as well as acquired life skills like, leaderships, teamwork, decision making and so on.

To recapitulate, a large number of people employ personal fitness trainer, rather than endulge in sports activity. This is crystal clear negative development. People should equally focus on sports and execise rather than only rely on fitness trainer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by identifying reasons for hiring a personal trainer and expressing a clear position that this is a negative development. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is typical of this level. For instance, the reasons given in the introduction, such as 'lack of awareness' and social media trends, are only briefly touched upon and lack sufficient extension in the body paragraphs. While the main body attempts to explore gym dynamics and the psychological benefits of sports, certain points—such as why people rely solely on trainers—are somewhat repetitive or under-developed. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support all main arguments with deeper elaboration and more precise real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, and paragraphs are generally used to separate ideas. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The writer relies on basic transitional markers like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Secondly', but referencing and logical progression within paragraphs occasionally falter. For example, sentences such as 'Moreover, it has influenced by social media' lack clear referential links to the preceding clauses, making the flow abrupt. Additionally, the progression from discussing social media trends to gym beginners feels disjointed. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that every sentence clearly connects to the one before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student displays an adequate vocabulary range for the task and attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'adrenalin rush', 'unwind', and 'decision making'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word form. For example, phrases like 'majority of people' miss the necessary article ('the majority'), 'private trainer' is used instead of 'personal trainer', and 'endulge' contains a spelling error. Other awkward collocations include 'training under those helps' and 'cope up with stress' instead of 'cope with'. These lexical errors and awkward formations occasionally create minor friction for the reader, keeping the response at this level. To progress, the writer should focus on natural word partnerships and precise vocabulary usage.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over structure. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. Issues include missing articles ('In several countries, majority of people...'), subject-verb agreement errors ('They acquires', 'any beginner... hire'), incorrect prepositions or verb patterns ('is require', 'do not aware'), and tense inconsistencies. For instance, 'Despite it has enormous benefits' should use a gerund or clause ('Despite having' or 'Despite the fact that it has'). These errors occur frequently, though they rarely impede overall communication. To move up, the writer must aim for greater grammatical accuracy across complex structures and eliminate basic agreement and article mistakes.

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