Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today in many countries, there is an increasing employment of the services of private fitness coach, than engaging in sports activities. This is as a result of increased self awareness and desire to stay fit. This i perceive as a positive trend because of its financial efficiency and good outcome.

To begin, conscious knowledge of self has graetly influenced people on the importance of mainatining a healthy life through exercising. To achieve this and faster, people engage the services of a private tutor who trains them in the rightful exercises while portion controlling their meal for a desired result. Again, many young people are not too confident with their different body shape and as such, the desire to have the ideal hour glass shape have increased the services of fitness tutors as their ensures consistency and is believed to yield a faster desired result.

Furthermore, this iscost effective, as money that would have been wasted trying different things as seen online is channeled properly to enagaing the coach and achieving a desired result in the shortest of time while at same time engaging the trainee and trainners effectively while providing work and source of income to the trainers.

In conclusion, the desire to maintain he idea shapes and maintain a healthy lifestyle has greatly increased the engagement of the services of professional fitness trainers across many nations. Its timely effect and budget friendly maked this a positive development which should be encouraged.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons for hiring personal trainers and giving a clear opinion that it is a positive development. However, the length requirement is not met, as the response falls slightly short of the two hundred and fifty-word minimum. Ideas are presented but remain somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the second body paragraph touches on body confidence and meal portioning, but these points are not fully extended with specific examples or deep explanation. The position is visible throughout the essay, yet the support lacks the depth required to reach a higher level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas, such as health awareness in the second paragraph and financial efficiency in the third. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty, seen in transitions like 'To begin' and 'Furthermore', and referencing is not always completely clear. While there is a logical progression from reasons to evaluation, the over-reliance on basic cohesive ties prevents a smoother flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, providing a sufficient range to communicate the main ideas about fitness and personal training. The writer attempts less common vocabulary items such as 'self awareness', 'hour glass shape', and 'cost effective', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form, including 'graetly', 'mainatining', 'rightful', 'iscost', and 'enagaing'. These slips do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score because of inaccuracy and frequent mechanical errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The text contains a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can cause some difficulty for the reader, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('as their ensures consistency'), missing articles ('employment of the services of private fitness coach'), and awkward prepositions or phrasing ('This i perceive', 'he idea shapes'). Punctuation and word-form slip-ups within grammatical patterns also persist throughout the essay, demonstrating limited structural control.

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