Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, hiring a personal coach to maintain physical health has become popular amongs youngsters. Private session by trainer to maintain health has increased significantly instead of group activities or playing sports. I will discuss the reasons behind having a coach and it has a positive development.

To commence with, having a private trainer has significant benefits such as special attention and focusing on diet which is essential factor to sustain good health. To expand it, personal trainer takes one on one session which has a great advatage to achieve the desire goal. Additionally, they provide special diet chart in which they include healthy source of food, so this boosts their energy to do more activities. Personal trainers focuses on area where they need to work on, while playing sports is more general exercise for full body. In group exercise or exercise doing by ownselves does not follow consistency, whereas attending private session maintain regularity. For example, many people hire gym trainer to achieve targeted goals which is difficult to gain if you are doing general activities such as playing sports. As a result, it is beenficial to have a private coach to focus on the goals and maintain health.

It has positive development as private coach helps in many ways. Many individuals who needs special attention to focus on their conditions such as cardiac issues, mental well being or breathing issues. This special conditions has to treat by their needs and they need to focus on particular situations. By doing group classes or playing sports cannot support to strengthen pulmonary muscles or cardiac condtions, but trainer s such as yoga teachers who help to improve their conditions. Although hiring a private trainer is expensive it has more benefits to improve healthy life-style. Also, they make healthy diet charts for lowing cholesterol, adding fibers, proteins as per person's requirements, so this has positive development.

In conclusion, securing a private instructor has more adavatges than playing sports or doing group classes. Personal trainer can not only focus on particular area and conditions which cannot be traeted by doing general activities such as playing sports but also helpful to mainatain consistency.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by identifying reasons for hiring a personal trainer and discussing whether this trend is positive or negative. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is characteristic of this level. For instance, the reasons behind hiring a trainer, such as tailored diets and individual attention, are clearly explained, but the discussion on medical conditions and special needs in the third paragraph is somewhat repetitive and lacks deeper extension. The response provides relevant examples, such as gym trainers and yoga teachers, showing a good engagement with the topic, yet the overall development sits comfortably at the midpoint of task fulfillment.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression of ideas from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, separating the reasons and the evaluation of whether the trend is positive. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty due to the reliance on repetitive transitional phrases such as 'To commence with' and 'To expand it'. Referencing is generally clear, but occasional awkward transitions between sentences, such as 'By doing group classes or playing sports cannot support', slightly disrupt the smooth flow of information, preventing a higher evaluation.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'pulmonary muscles', 'cardiac issues', and 'consistency'. However, there are noticeable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice, spelling, and word forms throughout the text. Examples of lexical errors include 'amongs' instead of 'among', 'advatage' and 'adavatges' instead of 'advantages', 'beenficial' instead of 'beneficial', 'mainatain' instead of 'maintain', and 'traeted' instead of 'treated'. Additionally, collocation choices such as 'special diet chart' instead of 'personalized nutrition plan' show a restricted flexibility, though these errors do not severely impede general communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional ideas. However, frequent errors in grammar and punctuation are present, particularly in subject-verb agreement and article usage. Examples include 'Private session by trainer to maintain health has increased' where plural agreement is missed, 'exercise doing by ownselves' which exhibits awkward structural phrasing, and 'This special conditions has to treat' containing agreement and passive voice errors. Punctuation and prepositional patterns also show recurring slips, such as missing articles before singular countable nouns like 'desire goal' or 'healthy life-style'. These structures are indicative of a developing control over grammar.

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