Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In certain countries, an increasing number of individuals are choosing to hire a personal fitness trainer over playing sports or exercise classes. This essay will discuss main reasons of this trend and explain why i believe this is a positive development.

To commence with why i believe that it is a positive approach is that it is a it enables a person to get a direct guidance from a trained person. To explain it, a personal trainer can make a proper guide according to a person's fitness, goals and physical condition. For example, if a person wants to lose weight, a personal trainer can guide him properly about certain exercises, workout routines and monitor his daily progress. As a result, a person can achieve his goals effectively and in relatively short time.

Further strengthening my views, another reason why i believe coaching is important, is that it provides greater motivation and accountability. A person doing random exercises and workout may loose motivation with time. For example, a person going to gym has in mind that his trainer will be waiting for him and he has to go there in time. Thus, he is bound to go and workout under supervision. Moreover, the trainer influences him and keep him motivated.

In conclusion, in many countries, people are now focusing to have a personal fitness trainer for them instead of doing random and unsupervised workouts. I think it is a positive development as personal training gives a person proper guidance and motivation which would not be possible with doing sports or unsupervised exercised.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Your position is clear: you consider personal training a positive development, and you give relevant benefits such as tailored guidance, progress monitoring, motivation and accountability. However, the task asks both why this trend is growing and whether it is positive or negative. Most of the essay explains why personal training is beneficial, rather than identifying broader reasons people are choosing it over sports or classes. The motivation paragraph partly addresses a reason, but the discussion of convenience, individual attention, or changing lifestyles is missing. Some support is also brief, such as the example of a gym-goer attending because a trainer is waiting. Develop the causes explicitly and explain the comparison with group exercise to address all parts more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The ideas progress from individual guidance to motivation, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “As a result” and “Moreover” help show relationships between points. This gives the essay a coherent structure. However, the first body paragraph opens with a confusing, repetitive construction (“To commence with why i believe that it is a positive approach is that it is a it enables…”), which interrupts the flow. The paragraphing also groups positive effects rather than clearly separating the task’s two questions—reasons for the trend and its evaluation. Use a more direct topic sentence for each paragraph and ensure references such as “it” have an unmistakable antecedent.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “personal fitness trainer,” “physical condition,” “workout routines,” “monitor his daily progress,” and “motivation and accountability.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and you attempt some more formal phrasing, such as “positive development” and “under supervision.” At times, however, word choice and collocation are inaccurate or repetitive: “a direct guidance,” “a proper guide,” and “random exercises and workout” do not sound natural in context. “Loose motivation” is also a spelling error that changes the intended word. Greater precision and variety would strengthen the response; for example, distinguish tailored coaching from group classes and use natural collocations such as “provide guidance” and “lose motivation.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional clauses (“if a person wants to lose weight”) and result clauses (“As a result, a person can achieve his goals…”). Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the conclusion is understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement and sentence construction. The opening of the first body paragraph contains a broken, repeated structure (“To commence with why… is that it is a it enables…”), while “a personal trainer can make a proper guide” has an inaccurate article and construction. In “the trainer influences him and keep him motivated,” the verb does not agree with its subject. Review sentence boundaries and subject–verb agreement, and simplify awkward clauses before adding more complex structures.

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