Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In some parts of the world, people are constantly getting the services of a personal fitness instructor, instead of going to play grounds or attending exercise classes. Overall, its a negative trend, the reason is that people have very busy working schedule and it also became a fashion.

In this busy life, many people do not have enough spare time to play some sports or do exercise. Resultantly, they hire the services of a personal trainer for the fitness of their body, which is putting a lot financial pressure on their income. For example, WHO's report revealed that people waste thirty percent of their salary to pay gym instructors because they charge too much for personalized plans. Therefore, it is a source of wasting income rather than physical fitness.

This age is also called the era of trends and people like to follow trends popular in a society. Same is the case of hiring personal gym coaches, they only provide a few instructions in a day most of them have been already available on the internet. As a result, it not sensible to pay for such things which are available free. For example, it was published in a newspaper that world's renowned body builders are sharing exercise techniques on their You tube channels and subscription is totally free. So, instead of following trends, people should focus on exercise and join play grounds rather than followings instructions of someone in a gym.

To conclude, it is clear that busy working schedules are not allowing people to think about play grounds. To compensate the problem they are wasting their money to learn about exercise not to do exercise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you give two reasons—busy schedules and following a social trend—and clearly state that you see the development as negative. The financial-pressure argument is relevant, and the example about free online exercise guidance supports your view that paid coaching may be unnecessary. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. In particular, the link between limited time and choosing a personal trainer could be explained more clearly, since hiring a trainer does not necessarily save time compared with a class. The claim that people spend thirty percent of their salary is also presented without context, so it is not very convincing. Explain why these reasons lead to the trend and weigh its possible benefits against its costs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from busy schedules to social trends is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “As a result,” and “To conclude” help signal relationships between ideas. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Resultantly” introduces a consequence, but the relationship between having little spare time and hiring a trainer needs more explanation. The conclusion repeats the main points rather than drawing them together, and “the problem” is not clearly specified. Improve cohesion by using more precise references and by making each paragraph’s reasoning explicit, rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your ideas, including “personal trainer,” “financial pressure,” “personalized plans,” and “exercise techniques.” There are also attempts at less common phrasing, such as “era of trends,” though some choices are unnatural or imprecise. For example, “getting the services” and “waste their money to learn about exercise” do not express the intended meaning naturally, while “play grounds” and “followings instructions” show word-form or spelling problems. “Fitness of their body” is also awkward. These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding the main argument, but they limit precision and naturalness. Build a stronger range of collocations for discussing exercise, cost, and lifestyle, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “which,” and “rather than,” and the main meaning is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence boundaries. For instance, “its a negative trend, the reason is” joins two independent clauses with only a comma; “a lot financial pressure” is missing a determiner; and “it not sensible” needs a verb. In “people have very busy working schedule,” the noun phrase also needs adjustment. These errors are noticeable but usually do not prevent understanding. To improve, check each sentence for a complete verb and subject, use articles and plural forms consistently, and punctuate joined clauses correctly.

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