Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, people are more consicouss about their health as compared to past. There are some nations who prefer to have personal trainers in their life instead go outside exercise. There are some reasons behind this phenomenon and how this reasons provide negative development in the upcomping paragrapghs.

To begin with, privacy is the main reason to support this trend. To explain it more, nowadays every people wants private life as they have sedentary lifestyle, so they just want to maintain their fitness level while staying at home rather than going outside and talk to another person beacuse they do not like to indulge with others. Apart from this, it is safe because there is not chance of having an infection from the equipment that is used in gym classes. Therefore, people generally avoid to go outside and doing some excerise to themselves fit.

Moreover, the another reason is comfort. To illustrate it more, if people have their personal trainer they do have to worry about they to have to go outside and travel. they just have to wait for their trainer while staying at home. For example, there are plethora of doctors who prefer to have personal trainer for those who have eleder people in their life so it is paragmatic approcah is they have trainer in life to improve their well being.

On the paradoxical side, it is negative development because is individauls do not outside or attend clases they do not able make social relationship with others. They would not be able to know the benefits of doing outside excersie.

In conclusion, although having personal trainer in people life give some benefits such as privacy and safety; however, the con side of this trend cannot be denied.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by giving reasons for hiring a trainer—privacy and convenience—and stating that you see the trend as negative. These points are relevant, but the position is not fully consistent: the introduction says the reasons will show a negative development, while the conclusion acknowledges benefits without clearly restating your judgement. Several ideas also need fuller explanation. For instance, the claim that home training avoids infection from gym equipment is not connected to why people choose a personal trainer rather than exercise classes more generally. The point about losing social contact is relevant but brief, and the example involving doctors and older people is difficult to follow. Explain each reason and support your evaluation with a clearer, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs explaining reasons, a paragraph giving your negative view, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal this progression. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated frames such as “To explain it more” and “To illustrate it more.” Some references are unclear, including “this reasons” and “it is paragmatic approcah,” so the reader has to infer the intended connection. The paragraph about comfort also shifts abruptly from travel to doctors and older people. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “privacy,” “sedentary lifestyle,” “fitness level,” and “social relationship,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear, sometimes making the meaning difficult to understand. For example, “maintain their fitness level while staying at home rather than going outside and talk to another person” is awkward, and “improve their well being” does not clearly express the point about older people. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “consicouss,” “excerise,” and “eleder.” Build a more precise set of phrases for describing personal training, convenience, and social benefits, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, using clauses with “as,” “because,” and “if.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences hard to follow. Examples include “There are some nations who prefer to have personal trainers in their life instead go outside exercise” and “if people have their personal trainer they do have to worry about they to have to go outside and travel.” These need clearer clause structure and correct verb patterns. There are also problems with agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, as in “every people wants” and the lowercase “they” after a full stop. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using one well-controlled subordinate clause.

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