Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In some nations many indivisuals are apointing cotch, Relatively particepate in sports and gym clasess. I consider this to be a largely negative development overall.

In first side, A people who are getting cotch they think its best idea to improve health. And some of them do showoff about luxry life style. This is because, They have much money to get Gym Instructor and they do well in home and some scary about injuries. For example, The public locking for suport with a specific health objective,like wait management. The trainer give's a better assistance and they feel safer then playing sports. There for, if helper is there around them they feel secure becouse of them.

In secound side, Sport improve body fitness and deseases. participate in Athletic activity and attending exercise classes can have serval positive impect on everyone. In other words, Regular physical activity improve fitness, improve the health and reduse the risk of helth problems. For instance, Exercise can enhance mentel well being by stress and anxity. viros,heart desease can control by doing these activities. Team sports provide oppertunities for Citizens to develop skils, build frindship and learn the importance of equlity. As a result, Sport activity can contribute to a healthy and happier lifestyle. Learnears can improve lifestyle and they more healthy.

In conclugen, Difrance in health outcoms between difrent populatin groups.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear overall view—“largely negative”—and identify plausible reasons people choose trainers, including wanting to improve health, having money, and feeling safer or seeking help with a specific goal. You also contrast this with benefits of sports and classes, such as fitness and social skills. However, the reasons and your judgement are only partly developed: the claim that some people want to “showoff” is not explained, and the conclusion about “Difrance in health outcoms” does not clearly restate why the trend is negative. The response also falls 25 words short of the required minimum. Develop each reason with a clear explanation or example, and make the final paragraph directly answer both parts of the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “For example,” “In other words,” and “As a result” show an attempt to guide the reader. The broad contrast between personal training and group or team activity is also relevant. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from health goals to luxury, money, injuries and safety without clearly connecting these points. The labels “In first side” and “In secound side” do not establish a clear argument, and the conclusion introduces a new, unclear idea rather than summarising the discussion. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in sequence, and use linking expressions only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “Gym Instructor,” “specific health objective,” “physical activity,” “mental well being,” and “Team sports.” These choices show an effort to discuss health, safety and social benefits rather than relying entirely on very basic terms. However, the range is limited and frequent spelling and word-choice errors make several phrases difficult to understand, such as “indivisuals,” “cotch,” “wait management,” and “Difrance in health outcoms.” Some combinations are also unnatural, including “showoff about luxry life style” and “Sport improve body fitness and deseases.” Build accuracy with common topic collocations and check spelling carefully; precise, familiar wording is more effective than attempting a phrase whose meaning is unclear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You make some attempts to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “This is because, They have much money to get Gym Instructor and they do well in home and some scary about injuries.” However, sentence structures are very limited overall, and frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles and verb forms often make the meaning hard to follow. Examples include “A people who are getting cotch they think its best idea” and “Regular physical activity improve fitness.” Several sentences are fragments or lack a clear grammatical relationship between clauses, as in “For example, The public locking for suport with a specific health objective.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with clear subordinate clauses. Check subject–verb agreement, articles and punctuation when editing.

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