Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In a certain number of countries, people are avoiding playing sports and taking any exercise classes for remain fit instead of a large number of individuals are hiring personal fitness trainer. In my perspective it is a negative trend. In this essay I will provide reasons for this development and also reasons for my opinion.

First of all, people are become more fitness conscious . To simplify, people not only want to remain fit by going fitness center or playing sports but they want to keep an eye on their whole day activity by taking personal guidance from trainer. For instance, personal trainer provide whole day diet plan with time and also suggest which activities need to perform at what time so it is very easy for people to take care of their fitness. Secondly, people do not have enough time to join exercise classes and play outdoor games. In simple words, because of so many responsibilities people are not able to find out time for doing this activities, therefore they choose to keep personal fitness trainer.

I believe this development has a few disadvantages. Firstly, it will increase an employment rate. To clarify, job opportunities for personal trainer are increases as many people want to hire personal trainer. For example, In many parts of the world demand for fitness trainers are increases day by day. Moreover, by following this trend many people able to take care of their health despite of having so many responsibilities. Therefore, the rate for obesity are may be decreased.

In conclusion, I believe it is a positive trend as it offers an opportunity for job and an opportunity to take care of personal health are the main positives. Furthermore, people become more concerns about their physical health and so much workload are the main reasons for a large number of people are hiring a personal fitness trainer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both questions by giving reasons for the trend—greater attention to fitness and lack of time—and stating an opinion. However, the position is not consistent: the introduction calls the trend negative, while the body and conclusion describe it as positive. This makes your answer to the evaluative part unclear. The reasons are relevant, but they are only briefly explained; for example, the diet plan and daily guidance are mentioned without showing why people prefer this to classes or sports. The discussion of disadvantages is also confusing because the paragraph mainly lists benefits. To improve, choose one clear position and develop each reason with a specific explanation or example that directly supports it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

Your response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the answer. However, progression is weakened by the contradiction between the negative view in the introduction and the positive view in the conclusion. The second body paragraph is labelled as discussing disadvantages, but its points about employment and health are advantages, so the paragraph’s purpose is unclear. Some linking phrases, including “To simplify” and “In simple words,” are repetitive and do not always clarify how the next sentence develops the point. Organise the body around clearly stated reasons and effects, and ensure each paragraph supports the same overall position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “fitness conscious,” “diet plan,” “responsibilities,” “employment rate,” and “obesity.” There are also attempts to vary expression through phrases such as “keep an eye on” and “take care of their health.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which sometimes makes the intended meaning less clear. For example, “increase an employment rate” does not naturally express the idea of creating jobs, and “whole day activity” is imprecise. Repetition of “personal fitness trainer” and “people” also limits variety. Build a more precise set of phrases for describing demand, employment, exercise routines and health outcomes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “because” and “therefore,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur frequently. Examples include “people are become,” “trainer provide,” “job opportunities … are increases,” and “the rate for obesity are may be decreased.” The opening sentence is also difficult to follow because its comparison is not grammatically complete. These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and use shorter, controlled sentences before adding subordinate clauses; then check each sentence for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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