Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In certain parts of nation, there is a surge can be noticed among people for hiring private physical-health guides instead of taking part in sports or physical activities. This essay will explore the reasons for increasing popularity of personal fitness trainers, and I believe that this trend has some positive affects not only for individuals, but also for society.

One primary reason for why people prefer fitness trainers over sports and exercise is their specific health goals. This is because some individuals set some that sort of goals which are hard to achieve by themselves without having proper guidence. For example, many people want to improve their physical apperance in a limited time, while most of them completely new in this field. They never did any kind of excercise before, so they do not have knowledge from where they could start. In such cases they really require a informative instructor.

Another contributing factor is lack of motivation. A certain number of people says that they feel less motivated when they choose to do any sport or physical activity on their own. However, expert trainers do not only guide them to use right equipments for specific target parts of their body, but also keep encouraging them to do excercise regulary, eat healthy diet and drink plenty of water regularly. In short they need accompany, otherwise they might give up on their health goals.

In my opnion, hiring a personal fitness guide is quite constructive for both the learners and trainers. Many people eager to pursue their careers as professional physical instructors, as this type of job offers substantial salaries to them. Besides improving the health of individuals, this phenomenon also assist to reduce the unemployment rate in any nation. As a result, because of the less unemployment, crime problem could aslo be solved and societies can become more peaceful.

To conclude, I firmly believe that the hiring of personal trainers is highly positive development, as it not only makes people healthy but also helps to reduce some serious issues in any country. It can boost the economy of a nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question: you give two reasons for hiring trainers—specific fitness goals and a need for motivation—and clearly state that you see the trend as positive. The examples about beginners seeking guidance and trainers encouraging regular exercise help make the reasons relevant. Your view is maintained in the conclusion. However, some points are less fully developed than others. The benefits to trainers, employment and reduced crime are asserted rather than explained, and the link between lower unemployment and less crime is broad. To strengthen the response, explain how personal coaching compares with sports or classes, and develop one or two benefits with a specific, plausible example rather than adding several general claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for two reasons, a paragraph giving your evaluation, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of argument easy to follow, and signposts such as “Another contributing factor” and “To conclude” help readers navigate it. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The sentence beginning “In my opinion” shifts from the benefits to clients to employment and crime without fully showing how these ideas connect. There is also some repetition of “regularly” and repeated references to health goals. For stronger progression, use clearer links between each claim and its consequence, and keep each paragraph focused on one main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “specific health goals,” “lack of motivation,” “professional physical instructors” and “unemployment rate.” These choices show that you can discuss both fitness and wider social effects. However, several inaccurate or unnatural expressions make the writing less precise, such as “private physical-health guides,” “a informative instructor,” “right equipments” and “this phenomenon also assist.” Spelling errors, including “guidence,” “apperance” and “opnion,” are also noticeable. Aim for natural collocations and accurate word forms rather than replacing common terms with unusual phrases. For example, “personal trainer” is clearer than “physical-health guide,” and “the correct equipment” is more idiomatic than “right equipments.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “because,” “while” and “as,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. There are some grammatical errors, particularly with agreement, articles and sentence construction. For instance, “A certain number of people says” should use a plural verb, while “a informative instructor” needs the correct article. In “some individuals set some that sort of goals,” the structure is faulty, and “this phenomenon also assist” has a subject–verb agreement error. Review these patterns and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb. Greater accuracy in these areas, alongside your existing attempts at complex sentences, would make the argument easier to read.

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