Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many parts of the world, people are considering professional fitness trainers instead of indulging themselves in sports or other physical excercises. I believe the main underlying reasons revolve around the busy schedules and lack of recreational spaces. It is a negative development because this approach losses independence and triggers financial disturbance.

In our day to day life, personal responsibilities and everyday schedules motivate people to hire a personal fitness trainer. Due to fast-paced environment of workplace and unavailability of recreational area, it is quite impossible to perform exercises. To mitigate this load, a trained professional will encourage to build strength and stamina by paying close attention to energy level. For instance, in metropolitan cities, it become a culture to hire a trainer because people donot have enough knowledge about gym equipments which sometimes lead to severe injuries.

It is negatively affecting people's life. In order to built social status and reputation in the society, individuals jump into this platform without considering their earning potention. It is noticeable that an average pay of $24 per hour is needed to hire a personal trainer, as they charge $[redacted phone] monthy for 3 days of training per week. Moreover, a person needs to maintain the strict diet plan, which is another concerning point for a working professional.

Based on the aforementioned reasoning, It is understandable that people are concerned about their health; however lack of sports complexes and busy schedules, individuals are moving towards the trend of hiring trainers. To mitigate this, establishing recreational areas inside the society will help people to utilise it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you give reasons for hiring trainers, including busy schedules and limited recreational space, and clearly judge the trend negatively. The example about city residents lacking knowledge of gym equipment adds relevant support, while the cost of training helps explain your concern about financial effects. However, some points are not fully developed or clearly connected to the question. The claim that people hire trainers to build social status is introduced without explaining how common or important this motive is, and the strict diet point is not clearly linked to why the development is negative. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or example, and make the negative effects more directly about personal training rather than exercise generally.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, the body paragraphs discuss reasons and disadvantages, and the conclusion returns to your main ideas. This makes the argument easy to follow in broad terms. Some connections between ideas are less clear, however. For example, the first body paragraph moves from busy schedules and limited facilities to trainers’ attention to energy levels, then to a lack of equipment knowledge; the relationship among these points could be signposted more explicitly. The conclusion’s phrase “To mitigate this” is also unclear because it follows a summary of the trend rather than a specific problem. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s focus and clearer linking phrases to show cause and effect.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “recreational spaces,” “build strength and stamina,” “social status,” and “strict diet plan.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “indulging themselves in sports,” “financial disturbance,” and “earning potention” do not convey your intended meanings naturally. There are also spelling errors such as “excercises,” “donot,” and “monthy.” Aim for common, accurate collocations before choosing more elaborate expressions, and proofread spelling and word forms. More precise vocabulary would make your reasons and evaluation clearer without changing your overall argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including cause-and-effect clauses such as “Due to… it is quite impossible…” and a contrast in the conclusion beginning “however.” The main meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include “it become a culture” instead of “it has become a culture,” “a person needs to maintain” after a plural subject, and “people donot have” with incorrect spacing and verb form. The sentence beginning “Based on the aforementioned reasoning” also has an unclear construction and inconsistent capitalisation of “It.” Work on subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb. This will improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex sentences.

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