Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Humans for the longest time, in this evolutionary boom of technological era, have been neglecting the health aspect of life. Hope of it making some kind of return even in form of personal training is a change that I appriciate, and welcome with open arms.

The whole concept of sports and physical activities in general earlier was to promote health by combining it with fun. However in this busier reality of today's era, everything needs meticulous planning, and paying someone that knows better, is something that seems logical. Evidently last 20 years of mankind were highly ambitious and driven which made everyone laser focused on their sole purpose of making it to the field of their intrests. Ignoring very vital and simple aspect of sports and it's benifits in their life.

In my own personal experience, I've benifitted immensely by personal training sessions because, it not only provides me the convinience of doing it alone on my own accords but also I am being guided by a professional so the efficiency of my activities are at optimum levels. I would desire to approach this in more traditional manner by playing sports but my schedule prevents me from doing that cause, I work 2 jobs and both being flexible hours.

To conclude, in my opinion conventional avenues of keeping the lifestyle healthy are still the better choice and everyone who can, should be incorporate that into their schedule. In contrast, someone who leads more ambitious life shouldn't shy away from convinient personal training sessions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt: you suggest that busy schedules and the need for expert guidance encourage people to hire trainers, and you give a qualified view that this can be positive while traditional exercise remains preferable when practical. Your personal example about working two flexible-hours jobs helps explain why individual training suits some people. However, the reasons are not fully developed: the claim that people are “laser focused” on their ambitions is broad, and its link to choosing a trainer rather than sports or classes is not made explicit. Your conclusion also introduces a preference for conventional exercise without fully weighing its benefits against personal training. Explain the causes more directly and support the comparison with a specific example or consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to reasons, personal experience and a conclusion. The personal example is placed appropriately after the general explanation, and phrases such as “However” and “To conclude” signal transitions. At times, though, progression is difficult to follow because ideas are compressed or connected loosely. For example, “Evidently last 20 years…” is followed by the fragment “Ignoring very vital…” rather than a complete explanation, while “In contrast” does not clearly contrast with the preceding point. Build each paragraph around one clear point, use complete sentences, and make the relationship between claims explicit. This would make the overall organisation more consistently easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a varied vocabulary, including “meticulous planning,” “laser focused,” “efficiency,” and “conventional avenues,” which helps you discuss lifestyle and exercise beyond basic terms. However, some choices are awkward or imprecise for this topic: “evolutionary boom of technological era” is unclear, and “making it to the field of their interests” does not convey a precise idea. Spelling errors such as “appriciate,” “benifitted,” “convinience,” and “intrests” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and precise wording rather than elaborate phrasing. For instance, describe people as having “increasingly demanding schedules” and say that a trainer provides “individualised guidance.” Proofreading spelling would make your vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrast in “I would desire to approach this in more traditional manner … but my schedule prevents me” and the explanation beginning “because it not only provides…”. The main meaning is generally understandable, but some sentence structures and punctuation are inaccurate. “Humans for the longest time…” is an incomplete, awkwardly structured opening, and “Ignoring very vital and simple aspect…” is a fragment rather than a full sentence. In “the efficiency of my activities are,” the subject and verb do not agree; “the efficiency … is” would be correct. Review sentence boundaries, articles, and agreement, and make sure each sentence has a clear subject and verb. More accurate control of these forms would strengthen your complex sentences.

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