Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the modern era, this issue has become increasing significant in modern society. masses like to appoint fitness trainer. because now people do not like a exercise and fitness. i will discuss a both views but first view a positive reasons.

To commence with, people should a daily exercise and other people encourage the fitness and exercise. nowadays people want a look very fit. masses like a become trainer and want a encourage the other people . they avoid a junk food and outsight eat because rather then increase the obisity. Therefor people like a fitness trainer and encourge the other people . trainer daily classes the another village and other places. nowadays more people like a doing exercise classes.

On the other hand, i will dicuss the nagative effect that they most spent time a this activity.they not focus the study and other social activity . people not know spent time with family and siblings. then this very effect on the young childern . childern most spent time social media and sports and fitness. childern not focus other activity. and not spend time with family and friends. they always go out to home. they all focus on the hiring the fitness trainer.

To conclude, after pondering over deal of the deliberations and thoughts. i think people become a fitness trainer because nowadays people eat a junk food and most spicey food. rather then body in obisity. this is one of the most widely discussed issues in comtempeonary society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response makes an attempt to discuss both reasons and whether the trend is positive or negative, but it does not clearly answer either part. The opening says “i will discuss a both views,” yet the body does not explain why people hire personal trainers rather than join sports or exercise classes. The first body paragraph mentions fitness, junk food and obesity, but the ideas are unclear and do not establish a positive judgement. The second paragraph presents possible disadvantages, such as less time for family and study, but these points are not clearly linked to hiring a trainer. The conclusion also gives a reason about unhealthy food rather than a definite overall view. The response is one word below the required minimum. Develop relevant reasons and state a consistent position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic essay shape, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “To commence with” and “On the other hand” signal a change of direction. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first moves from exercising to becoming a trainer, junk food and classes without explaining the connections. The second repeats that children do not focus on other activities and do not spend time with family, while the conclusion introduces another point about spicy food. Linking expressions are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately, and references such as “they” and “this activity” are unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in sequence, and use linking words only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “fitness trainer,” “junk food,” “obesity,” “social activity” and “family.” It also attempts less common or formal expressions such as “pondering over” and “widely discussed issues.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, making meaning unclear: “appoint fitness trainer,” “become trainer,” and “outsight eat” do not express the intended ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “encourge,” “nagative,” “childern” and “comtempeonary” further reduce clarity. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling and word forms; for example, distinguish between hiring a trainer and becoming one, and use precise terms for unhealthy eating and weight gain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Most sentences rely on short, simple patterns, and there are attempts to connect clauses, for example, “they avoid a junk food and outsight eat because rather then increase the obisity.” These attempts are not controlled enough to make the relationship between ideas clear. Errors with articles, sentence structure, agreement and verb forms occur throughout, as in “people should a daily exercise,” “they most spent time a this activity,” and “people not know spent time with family.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly the repeated lowercase “i” and sentence openings. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using clear clauses such as “because” or “which means.” Check that each sentence has a subject and a correctly formed verb.

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