Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In this modern era, many people are becoming more aware about their health and fitness level. So they can prefer to hier a personal fitness trainer instead of join the classes or playing sports. This essay will discuss the reasons of this trend and conclude this development is positive or negative.

To begin with, the major and the most important reason which is the sedentary life. Because of this people are facing many health issues, so for

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The opening identifies the general trend—hiring a personal trainer instead of joining classes or playing sports—and signals that the essay will discuss reasons and evaluate the development. However, the response stops before explaining any reason or giving a view on whether the trend is positive or negative. The fragment about a “sedentary life” begins a relevant point, but it is unfinished and unsupported. The task requires both reasons and a clear evaluation, so these parts remain essentially unanswered. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, which leaves too little space to develop the argument. To improve, complete the essay with specific reasons, a consistent position, and examples that explain the effects of personal training.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory paragraph is followed by a body paragraph beginning with “To begin with.” The introduction also previews the intended focus, giving the reader some sense of direction. However, the body paragraph ends abruptly at “so for,” and there is no completed explanation, further paragraph, or conclusion. As a result, ideas do not progress into a coherent argument, and the promised evaluation is never reached. The linking phrases are understandable but cannot create continuity when the supporting content is missing. Build a complete sequence: introduce a reason, explain how it leads people to hire trainers, add an example, then discuss whether this is beneficial or harmful and conclude with your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses enough topic-related vocabulary to identify the subject, including “health,” “fitness,” “personal fitness trainer,” “classes,” “sports,” and “sedentary life.” These choices make the general topic clear, and “sedentary” is a relevant, more specific term. However, the range is very limited because the response is short and the ideas are not developed. Some word choices or forms are inaccurate: “aware about” is not the natural collocation here, “hier” is a spelling error, and “fitness level” is less suitable than a broader reference to fitness or physical health in this context. Aim to use precise phrases for reasons and outcomes, such as individual guidance, tailored exercise plans, motivation, and injury prevention, and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both a longer introductory sentence and a subordinate clause, as in “Because of this people are facing many health issues,” so there is some effort to move beyond simple statements. However, the range is narrow, and the unfinished final clause (“so for”) prevents the sentence from being complete. The opening also has structural problems: “So they can prefer…” does not express the intended meaning naturally, while “conclude this development is positive or negative” lacks a clear grammatical construction. The sentence beginning “To begin with” is also incomplete because its main clause is missing after “the major and the most important reason which is the sedentary life.” Practise complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and use a direct thesis such as “I believe this is a positive development because…”

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