Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this modern era, many people are becoming more aware about their health and fitness level. So they can prefer to hire a personal fitness trainer instead of join the classes or playing sports. This essay will discuss the reasons of this trend and conclude this development is positive or negative.

To begin with, the major and the most important reason which is the sedentary life. Because of this people are facing many health issues, so for overcome these issues they have to focus on their body. Another one is personal attention. As per an example, there are huge number of persons in the classes owing to the personal trainer never gonna be focused on each and every one, they just instruct loudly. Whether in the case of personal trainer, they examine your strenght and the basic details afer that they planned the exercise protocol for individuals and also they correct your

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify two relevant reasons for hiring a trainer: sedentary lifestyles and the individual attention available in one-to-one sessions. However, the response is incomplete: it does not explain whether this is a positive or negative development, and the promised conclusion is absent. The reasons are introduced but not sufficiently explained or supported with a clear example; the comparison with group classes stops mid-sentence at “they correct your”. The response also does not meet the required minimum length, leaving too little space to develop the task. To improve, state your view clearly, explain the benefits or drawbacks, and support each main point with a complete example and a concluding paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introduction is followed by a paragraph beginning “To begin with,” and the ideas move from health concerns to personal attention. Linking expressions such as “Because of this” and “As per an example” show an effort to connect points. However, the overall progression is limited because the response ends abruptly and has no developed conclusion or clear paragraphing for the different reasons and the evaluation. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “Another one is personal attention” and the transition into the example. Use separate, complete paragraphs for each reason and for your judgement, and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “health and fitness,” “sedentary life,” “health issues,” and “exercise protocol,” which helps communicate the subject. There is also an attempt to use more specific language when describing trainers assessing clients. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “aware about,” “huge number of persons,” and “focused on each and every one.” Spelling errors in “strenght” and “afer” also reduce accuracy. The range is sufficient to convey the main ideas, but collocations and word forms need more control. Learn common combinations such as “aware of their health,” “a large number of participants,” and “assess a client’s fitness level.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more complex sentence forms, for example, “Because of this people are facing many health issues” and the sentence contrasting group classes with personal training. However, complex attempts are often faulty, and some sentences are incomplete or difficult to follow. “So they can prefer to hire” uses an unsuitable verb construction, while “for overcome these issues” has an incorrect infinitive pattern. The sentence beginning “As per an example” also lacks a clear grammatical structure, and the final clause is unfinished. Practise complete sentence patterns, including “to overcome,” and check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb. Punctuation after introductory phrases would also improve readability.

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