Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is no doubt that fitness plays an important role in everyone's life.In many nations, most of the individuals hire a personal fitness trainer instead of outdoors activities such as sports or doing exercise.I think that it is a negative development.

There are various reasons that it is a negative development. The primary one is social circle effected.To explain it ,spending time with only fitness trainer for fitness in gym leads to less communication with others and its the main reason for no friends or no social life.Also, zero communication skills effect individuals personal and work life too.For example , individulas may face difficulity to talk to their co-workers on a specific topic or task or poor communication skils are the main reason that individuals hiding their thoughts and emotions.

Furthermore, person may learn several skills while playing sports.To elaborate it, playing sports teaches individuals a lot of life living skills such as patience,sympathy ,teamwork, discpline and time management.Most of sports build persons peronality and it helps them to handle every situation calmly.For instance, if a team playing a football match and have less chances to win and in this case, they have play patiencely and here in this situation teamnwork matters to win the win.

In conclusion, I cocnclude that relying only one trainer causes a negative development. The main reasons are less communication skills and lacking in other slkills such as teamwork, discpline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear view that hiring a personal trainer is negative, and you give two relevant concerns: reduced social interaction and fewer opportunities to develop teamwork and patience through sport. However, the task asks why this trend is happening as well as whether it is positive or negative. Your response mainly explains why you consider it negative; it does not explain why people choose trainers, such as personalised guidance, convenience, or motivation. The supporting examples are also brief, and the football example is difficult to follow. The response is 15 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop both parts. To improve, address the reasons for the trend directly and extend each main point with a clear explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The paragraphs each focus on a main idea, and signposts such as “Furthermore,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the direction of the argument. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “There are various reasons that it is a negative development” does not clearly introduce reasons why people hire trainers, and “To explain it” and “To elaborate it” are repeated formulae. The football example also moves through several points without a clear sequence. Use topic sentences that directly answer the question, and connect each example explicitly to the claim it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “social circle,” “communication skills,” “teamwork,” “patience,” and “time management,” which helps convey the main concerns. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “co-workers” and “personal fitness trainer.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are frequent enough to make parts of the response less clear, including “individulas,” “difficulity,” “peronality,” and “discpline.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “life living skills,” “the team playing a football match,” and “win the win.” Aim to learn vocabulary in natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would make your ideas easier to understand and sound more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with explanations and examples, so there is some variety in structure. The main ideas are generally understandable, but errors in sentence formation and verb patterns often make the reader work to interpret them. For example, “spending time with only fitness trainer for fitness in gym leads to less communication” has missing articles and an awkward grammatical structure, while “if a team playing a football match” lacks a finite verb. In “they have play patiencely,” the verb construction is also faulty. Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, particularly where sentences run together. Practise building accurate complex sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and proofread for articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.

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