Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, hiring a personal fitness trainer is becoming more and more pupular. There are many reasons why people hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes and we have some measures to solve this problem. These viewpoints will be discussed in the following essay.

There are some reasons why, in sone countries, more and more people are hiring a personal trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. They want to personal fitness trainer to teach them how to exercise. Many people want to reduce weight and body healthy. Because they how exercise so they need a personal fitness trainer help them keep going, people will do exercise everyday. Many busy with work and not have time to exercise, personal fitness trainer can help they make simple and exercise more better.

There are positive development. First, personal fitness trainer help people healthy and exercise correct, this can help exercise safe. This can help they avoid get hurt . Second, personal fitness trainer can help they keep go, people can become healthy and reduce weight and personal fitness trainer can show people suitable exercises and teach they how exercise. They can have more energy and everyday better.

In conclusion, there are many reasons why people hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes and we have some measures to solve this problem. Therefore, personal fitness trainer can help people exercise better and become healthy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both parts of the question: you give reasons for hiring trainers, such as wanting guidance, weight loss, and support with limited time, and you state that this is a positive development. However, the response is under the required length: it contains 200 words, 50 short of the 250-word minimum, and 44 words copied from the prompt were not counted. This limits how fully you can explain and support your ideas. The reasons and benefits are mostly asserted rather than illustrated; for example, “personal fitness trainer can help they keep go” needs explanation of how this support helps. The introduction and conclusion also mention “measures to solve this problem,” although the task asks for reasons and an evaluation, not solutions. Develop each point with a clear explanation or relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about reasons, a paragraph about benefits, and a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “First,” “Second,” and “In conclusion” helps the reader identify the main sections. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several ideas are joined without clear relationships. For instance, the sentence beginning “Because they how exercise” moves from lack of knowledge to daily exercise without explaining the connection. Repeated claims about becoming healthy and losing weight also make the argument feel circular. The introduction and conclusion repeat the irrelevant reference to “measures to solve this problem.” Organise each paragraph around one main point, then explain it in a logical sequence using clear links between cause, example, and result.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant words and phrases, including “personal fitness trainer,” “reduce weight,” “exercise,” and “healthy,” so the general topic is clear. However, vocabulary is basic and repetitive, and some word choices or combinations make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “body healthy,” “make simple,” and “exercise more better.” There are also spelling errors, such as “pupular” and “sone.” These limitations fit a response where the available vocabulary is restricted and errors can strain the reader. Build a wider set of accurate fitness-related expressions and vary repeated words. Check spelling and learn common collocations, such as “lose weight,” “stay healthy,” and “follow a suitable exercise plan.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to express reasons and results, but sentence forms are very limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes obscuring the intended meaning. For example, “There are many reasons why people hiring” is missing a finite verb, while “They want to personal fitness trainer to teach them” has an incomplete grammatical pattern. In “personal fitness trainer can help they keep go,” the verb forms and pronoun structure are not controlled. Subject–verb agreement and articles are also inconsistent, as in “personal fitness trainer help people.” Most sentences rely on simple patterns, with few accurate complex structures. Practise complete clauses, correct verb forms after “help,” and agreement, then proofread each sentence for a clear subject and verb.

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