Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern era, individuals are more foucsed and serious regarding their health. In many nations, serveral individuals are hiring a professional personal fitness trainer, rather than playing outdoor sports and doing exercise sessions in their daily routine. I would like to discuss both the points in my viewpoints in upcoming prargraphs.

To begin with, there are serveral reasons about people are hiring a personal trainer. Firstly, Nowadays people have their hectic schedule in their daily life, while they do not have much time to play outdoor sports and doing exercise sessions in their regular days in a week. Moreover, they hire professional personal ditness trainer because whenever they have some free time from work, they can book schedule with trainer according to their work schedule.

On the other hand, there are also some reasons that people have to give some time to outdoor sports. Secondly, when people are playing sports in their daily life which is more beneficial for their health and they can healthy in their life. Moreover, when individuals playing football or basketball twice in a week, as well as which helps to maintain body fitness and when they are running for a ball which assists to improve their breathing system and also makes good blood flow in body parts.

To conclude, according to me both the points have their own strengthness and weekness but people have to do exercise classes or playing different types of outdoor games to stay healthy in their life as comparied with hiring a personal fitness trainer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the reasons for hiring a trainer and the comparison with sports, and your conclusion gives a preference for exercise classes or outdoor games. However, the response only partly answers the question about whether this is a positive or negative development: the conclusion favours alternatives, but the essay does not clearly evaluate personal training itself as positive or negative. The reason you develop—busy schedules and the ability to book around work—is relevant, but it needs explanation or an example. The sports paragraph describes health benefits rather than directly comparing them with personal training, so the discussion is uneven. State your position clearly in the introduction and support each main point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and phrases such as “To begin with” and “To conclude” help signal stages. However, the overall progression is not always clear: the second body paragraph begins “On the other hand” and “Secondly,” but shifts from reasons for hiring a trainer to benefits of outdoor sports without clearly linking this contrast to the question. Some linking is mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “Moreover” and “when.” Several sentences also combine multiple points, making relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Organise the body around one clear reason and one clear evaluation, and use linking phrases only where they accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “personal fitness trainer,” “hectic schedule,” “maintain body fitness” and “blood flow.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “foucsed,” “serveral,” “ditness,” “strengthness” and “weekness.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “book schedule with trainer” and “healthy in their life.” Repetition of “people,” “sports” and “exercise” further limits flexibility. Build a more accurate set of collocations for this topic and check spelling carefully; for example, explain how a trainer offers “flexible appointments” or “individualised guidance” rather than repeating general references to exercise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “while,” “because” and “when.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to understand. For example, “people are playing sports … which is more beneficial” has an unclear clause structure, while “they can healthy in their life” is missing a verb. There are also problems with verb forms and agreement in “when individuals playing” and “which helps to maintain body fitness.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention as well, especially where several ideas are joined in one sentence. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly formed supporting clause before adding more complexity.

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