Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary era, people are paying more attention to their health and fitness. There is an ongoing debate regarding playing a sports or hiring a personal fitness trainer, which is more beneficial in general. According to the given statement, some countries are choosing to have more personal trainer instead of doing exercise or playing a sports. This is a detrimental development. In my preference, Disadvantages surpass the advantages. My preference will be fully explained in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and appropriate examples.

The main reason for my inclination is that playing a sport can help to relax body and mind, because it involves the socialisation. Moreover, sports can generate happy hormone named 'endorphins',it will work as a mood enhancer. On top of that, playing sports is a combination of exercise and fun together. For instance, school playing children can improve their productivity and concentration after exercise or sport session.

However, In some countries having a personal trainer is quite popular nowadays. Scrutinishing the facts from grassroots level is that they are really consious about their health or they want some weight loss in particular areas. The another reasons of having a personal fitness trainer is they are may be suffering from some diseases, so they need someone to guide them in exercise all the time. The diseases like hypertension, slipped disc, osteoarthritis, chronic pain, they need close attention and unique techniques for the exercise.

Based on the aforementioned reasoning, I still believe in my stance. Having a perosnal fitness trainer is like a 'double-aged sword', it will help but it will cost more and reduce the socialisation in general. On the other hand, playing a sport and simply doing an exercise can be immensely beneficial for health and mental well being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you regard the trend as negative, and you give relevant reasons, including the cost of a trainer and reduced social interaction. You also address why people hire trainers, mentioning weight loss and the need for guidance with health conditions. However, the two parts are not developed equally. The reasons for hiring a trainer are listed but not explained with a specific example, while the benefits of sport receive more explanation. The response also shifts from comparing the trend with sport to discussing exercise generally, so the argument could be more tightly focused on the question. Develop each reason by explaining its consequences and support it with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about the benefits of sport, a paragraph explaining why people use trainers, and a concluding position. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “On top of that,” and “Based on the aforementioned reasoning” help signal relationships between ideas. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening refers to an “ongoing debate” without establishing the comparison clearly, and “However” introduces the reasons for hiring trainers even though this paragraph does not directly contrast with the previous one. The conclusion also repeats the position rather than drawing the reasons together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each paragraph’s ideas more explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “socialisation,” “mood enhancer,” “hypertension,” and “osteoarthritis.” These choices show an attempt to use more specific and less common language, and the main ideas remain understandable. Some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, however, such as “playing a sports,” “happy hormone,” and “double-aged sword.” There are also spelling errors, including “consious” and “perosnal,” and some word choices make the argument less precise, such as “in my preference.” Aim for natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, use “playing sports,” “feel-good hormones,” and “a double-edged sword,” and state your view as “In my view.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a conditional-style explanation of how sport may affect children. Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. Examples include “more personal trainer” instead of a plural form, “The another reasons,” and “they are may be suffering,” where article, number, and word order are not controlled. In “endorphins,it will work,” punctuation and the connection between the clauses also need attention. There is some variety, but accuracy is not consistent enough for more complex sentences to be handled reliably. Review articles and plurals, and proofread sentence boundaries and clause structure.

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