Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Fitness plays a crucial role in the substantial changes happening in the world of health. Nowadays, a huge number of people are hiring their personal fitness trainer in some countries rather than engaging in sports related activities and exercise. Mainly this scenerio is caused by the hectic schedule of people in our society.For this reason, they are unable to spend time for activities like sports and so on. I believe that this essay states a negative development than a positive development.

The first and foremost fact is that most people are completely relying on a busy schedule in their life.Thus they chose their fitness on the hands of an experienced trainer,will cause detrimental effects on the natural process of their health as well as muscle movements in a wrong manner.For example,my cousin Maya, who practiced her fitness and training under a mentor who ruined her natural capacity and capability of moving facial muscles and knee in a bad manner. Secondly, involoving in sports such as swimming, playing cricket or football helps people to improve their cognitive skills and they can easily reduce their stress to a great extent. Following this, when we are actively dedicated our mind to a particular exercise or playing sports it gradually transform our body without any support from others. Moreover, a person can easily reduce their body weight,physical and mental support to a great extent.

However, hiring a personal fitness trainer is expensive and people need to change their fitness training according to their desires. Mainly people hire them to get rid of their mental and physical pressure from work.But people need to spend more time for this activities rather than family time.

In conclusion, more and more people are hiring their personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or exercise for making their body fit. In my opinion, I strongly state that every cloud has a silver lining.Likewise, a personal fitness trainer is not a good option to stay fit. It's because practicing exercise and sports helps a person to make shape in their body with body movements.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both the reasons for hiring trainers and whether this is positive or negative, and your position is generally negative. The busy schedule is identified as a reason, while the discussion of cost and reduced family time adds relevant points. However, the explanation of why people choose trainers is brief, and several claims about harm are unclear or insufficiently supported. The example about your cousin’s facial muscles and knee is difficult to understand and does not clearly show how personal training caused the problem. The benefits of sport are more developed than the reasons behind the trend, so the response only partially fulfils the task. Explain the causes more directly and support each main point with a clear, plausible example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposting such as “Firstly,” “Secondly” and “In conclusion” helps readers recognise the main stages. However, the overall progression is not consistently clear: the first body paragraph moves from busy schedules to possible physical harm, then to the benefits of sport, without clearly connecting these points. The paragraph beginning “However” introduces cost and family time but does not explain how these points support the negative position. Some linking expressions are mechanical or do not show the intended relationship, and references such as “this activities” are unclear. Group each paragraph around one main idea, then use explicit links to show how the evidence supports your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “hectic schedule,” “cognitive skills,” “detrimental effects” and “mental and physical pressure.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic language. However, several phrases are inaccurate or awkward and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow, such as “relying on a busy schedule,” “chose their fitness on the hands of” and “make shape in their body.” There are also spelling errors, including “scenerio” and “involoving,” and some repetition of “fitness” and “to a great extent.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling; simpler accurate wording is more effective than ambitious phrases used incorrectly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “my cousin Maya, who practiced her fitness…” and a conditional structure beginning “when we are actively dedicated…”. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors affect clarity. For example, “will cause detrimental effects” lacks a clear grammatical subject, while “when we are actively dedicated our mind” has an incorrect verb pattern and agreement. Other problems include “people need to spend more time for this activities,” where the determiner and preposition pattern are incorrect, and missing spaces after full stops and commas. Practise building complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement, articles, prepositions and punctuation before submitting.

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