Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some countries, many people hire a personal fitness trainer instead of doing exercise or playing sports classes. The main reason behind this is the lack of knowledge and motivation. I personally believe that it is a negative development and the effects are discussed briefly.

Firstly, on the negative side, many individuals were living busy life with no time for physical activities and outdoor sports. Moreover, most of them were not aware of the consequences they face with neglecting their daily exercise. For example, to simply overcome those health issues in the future, a few more persons were joining the gym and doing strength training with the help of fitness coach. As a result, people are more keen towards balancing their work and personal life by leaving a few daily standard hours for workout.

Secondly, many of them were left behind with no encouragement for maintaining a healthy body. Furthermore, they mostly start this journey by hiring a private instructor for one-on-one lessons and build confidence. For instance, parents should show some interest in playing with their kids during evenings which in turn improves children strength and stability. Overall, the regualr practice of involvment in games would reduce the gym expenses and increase the family time as well.

n my point of view, everyone should concentrate on long term results which come from regular physical exercises, rather than depending on rapid outcome from lifting weights. Finally, I trust that the education on health should start from early stages of life which overcome most of the health problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear view that this trend is negative and identify lack of knowledge and motivation as reasons people hire trainers. However, the response only partly answers the question because the reasons are not consistently explained, and the negative judgement is not fully supported. The first body paragraph shifts from busy lifestyles and limited awareness to people joining gyms, without clearly showing why these factors lead them to choose a personal trainer over sports or classes. The second paragraph offers family exercise as an alternative, but does not explain the drawbacks of personal training in enough detail. Develop each reason with a direct explanation and a relevant example, then connect that evidence explicitly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “Firstly,” “Moreover” and “Secondly” help identify points. However, the overall progression is difficult to follow because ideas within paragraphs do not always connect clearly. For example, the first paragraph moves from busy lives to health consequences, then to gym training and work-life balance, without making the relationship between these points explicit. The second paragraph shifts from encouragement to private instruction and then to parents exercising with children. Use each paragraph to develop one main reason or argument, and add clear links explaining how each example supports it. The conclusion should also summarise the reasons and negative position rather than introduce a new point about health education.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “personal fitness trainer,” “strength training,” “one-on-one lessons” and “physical activities,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “consequences” and “long term results.” This gives you enough range to discuss the topic, but several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. For instance, “playing sports classes” is not a natural phrase, and “keen towards balancing” does not express the intended idea clearly. There are also spelling and word-form slips, including “regualr” and “involvment.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; this will make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “which” and “by,” and most of the main ideas can be understood. However, control is uneven, particularly with tense, agreement, articles and sentence construction. For example, “many individuals were living busy life” has an awkward tense and missing plural/article marking, while “children strength and stability” needs a possessive form. The opening “n my point of view” also has a missing initial letter, and the final sentence, “which overcome most of the health problems,” does not form a clear grammatical relationship with the preceding clause. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, consistent tense, and correct singular or plural forms.

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