Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this advance and fast paced world, everyone is getting more inclined to be their healthiest version of themselves. The significant number of individuals hire a personal trainer in many parts of the world instead of participating in sports and physical activities. This trend is associated with several reasons and comes up with negative development. This essay will discuss both the points with relevant examples in the following paragraphs.

To embark upon the reasons of hiring a personal fitness trainer for building a fit and sound physique. The first and foremost is that they are professional individuals who have detailed knowlege and experience of nutrition and exercises techniques on the basis of individual's body requirements. Since they are excel in their profession, people can get an appropriate diet chart which includes balanced meal options and workout plans on the weekly basis. Consequently, they feel more confident and enthusiastic. Moreover, fitness trainers can assist their clients in formulating the workout techniques with right positions and body forms which eventually reduce the risk of future injury and mishappening. For instance, many people are more likely to get injured while performing exercises without supervision of certified trainers.

Moving forward, this trend brings alot of negative effects on the society. This process can be quite expensive and not everyone can afford this. People from an average family background can not bear the expenses of having a personal fitness coach which can disturb their budget.

In conclusion, certified fitness coach provides training to people with utmost care and his profound knowledge. Although people are getting more health concious in these days, hiring these professionals can be quite expensive for an average family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: you give reasons for hiring trainers, including their knowledge of nutrition and exercise and their ability to reduce injury risk, then state that the trend is negative because it can be expensive. These points are relevant, and the example about unsupervised exercise supports the safety argument. However, the negative evaluation is much less developed than the reasons: affordability is the only disadvantage explained, and the conclusion mainly repeats it. The opening also promises to discuss “both the points,” but does not make your overall position fully clear until later. To strengthen the response, explain why personal training is preferable to sports or classes for some people, and develop the social or practical consequences of relying on individual coaching.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph explaining reasons, a paragraph presenting the negative view, and a conclusion. Sequencing expressions such as “Moreover,” “Moving forward,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main stages. However, some linking is mechanical, and the opening of the second paragraph, “To embark upon the reasons,” is an incomplete sentence rather than a clear topic sentence. The paragraph on disadvantages is also very short and moves quickly from cost to its effect on household budgets, so the argument does not progress as fully as the first body paragraph. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point directly, and connect each supporting detail explicitly to your evaluation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “nutrition,” “balanced meal options,” “workout plans,” “supervision,” and “expenses.” These choices make the subject clear, and some less common expressions show an attempt to vary your language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “advance and fast paced world,” “sound physique,” and “mishappening.” There are also spelling errors in “knowlege,” “alot,” and “concious.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Prefer familiar, accurate collocations over elaborate phrases, and proofread spelling. For example, “advanced, fast-paced world” and “risk of injury” would express your intended meanings more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a reason clause beginning “Since” and a relative clause describing workout techniques. Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some sentence structures and agreement patterns are inaccurate. “To embark upon the reasons…” is a fragment, while “Since they are excel in their profession” has an incorrect verb form. In “certified fitness coach provides training,” the singular noun needs an article or plural form, and “people can not” should be written as “people cannot.” The opening sentence also contains an awkwardly constructed phrase. Build complex sentences around a complete main clause, check subject–verb agreement and articles, and review punctuation so that each sentence expresses one clear, complete idea.

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