Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Fitness has become an important part of a life. I agree that personal fitness trainer is a positive development.

To begin with, People who are hiring personal fitness trainer have no much time for doing exercise or playing sports. More peoples who are doing business and having high income, majority people having high income hire personal trainer. Middle class, lower middle class or poor people don't hire the personal fitness trainer because they do to much physical work but people who are rich or having high income their mind work more than his physical work that's why they need physical trainer.People who are doing more physical hardwork they don't need a personal physical trainer.

Moreover, More and more people are hiring a peresonal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes, this is a positive development, because people who feel shame in public hire their personal fitness trainer. One more thing is some people don't want any distraction people got distract in public exercise classes and did not do exercise properly, so they hire their personal physical trainer. From my perspective playing sports or doing exercise classes are more reliable because there are many peoples who tells you your mistakes and you improve. If you are not shy must play badminton or join exercise classes because badminton is more reliable sports for physical fitness and joining of exercise classes is also a better option because more people guide you.

In conclusion, People who are too much busy in other works they hire a personal fitness trainer but peoples who have much time for doing exercise or playing sports they can obviously go for this because you interact with more and more people, many peoples share experiences with each other peoples can easily grow.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both the reasons for hiring trainers and whether this is positive, and your position is stated as positive. Reasons such as being busy, feeling shy in public, and being distracted in group classes are relevant. However, the explanation that higher-income people hire trainers because their minds work more than their bodies is unclear and over-generalised, while the claim that people doing physical work do not need trainers is not sufficiently supported. Your view also becomes less consistent when you say sports and classes are “more reliable” and recommend them. Develop each reason with a clear explanation or example, and make your overall judgement consistent. The response meets the task’s length requirement; 10 words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from lack of time to income and physical work without clearly showing how these points connect. The second paragraph shifts from reasons for hiring a trainer to arguing that group exercise is more reliable, which makes the line of argument difficult to follow. Some linking phrases are repeated or used mechanically, and references such as “this” are not always precise. Group related ideas together and use each paragraph to develop one clear point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “personal fitness trainer,” “distraction,” “physical fitness,” and “share experiences.” However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “people,” “hire,” and “physical trainer.” There are also noticeable word-choice and collocation problems, such as “more peoples,” “mind work,” “physical hardwork,” and “grow,” which make some ideas unclear or unnatural. Spelling errors such as “peresonal” also reduce accuracy. Build a wider set of natural expressions for discussing exercise, motivation and access to training, and check whether each phrase is idiomatic in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including explanations linked with “because” and “that's why.” However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and frequent errors affect clarity. For example, “More peoples who are doing business and having high income, majority people having high income hire personal trainer” lacks a clear grammatical structure. There are recurring problems with articles, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “a personal fitness trainer” and “many peoples share experiences with each other peoples.” Capitalisation after commas is also inconsistent. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then check articles, singular and plural forms, and punctuation before combining ideas.

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