Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the bar chart illustrate that most of men's doing regular exercise as compare to women's multipular age groups are doing exercise in dialy basis in 2010.

In the age of 15 to 24 females are did almost 52.8 percent rather then males are doing exercise 47.7 percent. the age 25 to 34 women's are do regular physical exercise 42.2 and the men's are in 48.9 percent are physically well being. but in the age group 35 to 44 the percentage of men was growing to 52.5 percent and the women are decreased to 39.5 %. the 45 to 54 women are 43.1% and the men percentage are also in the peak of the year its 53.3 %

and the women's are in age 55 to 64 it is 45.1 and men's percentage is 53.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the topic and report several age-group figures, but the response only partially fulfils the task. The opening claim that men were more active in most groups is not supported by the chart: women had higher rates in every group except ages 15–24. Several figures are also assigned to the wrong sex or age group; for example, 52.8% is the male figure for ages 15–24, not the female figure, and the 25–34 figures are reversed. There is no clear overview of the main pattern, and the 65-and-over group is omitted. The response is also 16 words below the required minimum. Add an accurate overview, check each comparison against the chart, and cover the final age group.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some basic sequencing by age group, and phrases such as “but in the age group” signal a change in comparison. However, the response is presented as one continuous block, with no clear paragraphing or distinct overview. The progression is difficult to follow because the male and female figures are repeatedly switched, and the long final sentence joins several comparisons without clear punctuation. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and one or two detail paragraphs. Use consistent labels such as “men” and “women” in each comparison, and separate each age group into clear sentences so the reader can track the data.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” and “regular physical exercise,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “multipular age groups,” “daily basis,” “physically well being,” and “peak of the year.” These expressions make some comparisons harder to understand and do not describe the chart precisely. Aim for straightforward, accurate language rather than elaborate phrases: “the proportion who exercised regularly” and “the rate rose/fell” are suitable. Check spelling and word forms, and use “percentage” consistently when reporting the figures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to compare figures and use clauses, but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined in ways that are difficult to control. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur throughout, for example “the bar chart illustrate,” “females are did,” and “women's are do.” Articles and comparison patterns are also often missing or incorrect, as in “rather then males are doing exercise.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with several comparisons run together. These problems sometimes make the intended meaning unclear. Practise accurate present-tense reporting patterns, such as “The chart shows that…” and “Among people aged 25–34, the figure for women was…,” then check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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