Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart shows the information about how many different age austrialan people interested in phyical activities in 2010. The data colleted in percentages.

firstly, the highest percentage og 45to 54 age group like to do physical acitvity in 2010 and the lowest value of 35 to 44 age group people whoes are less interested in physical activities. moreover, 65 and over age people show equl interested.

on the other side, 55 to 64 female show more interested ratherthen male. only 45 percentage male interested in physical activities but 53% female more interested. futhermore, in 15 to 24 age male like to do more exercise camperison to female.

overall,35to 44 and 45to 54 age group female show equle interested in physical acitivities. this bar graph chart show the highest and lowest interested in physical activities in 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and make some relevant comparisons, including that men have the higher figure in the youngest group and women are higher in the 55–64 group. However, the response only minimally summarises the data: it does not give a clear, accurate overview of the main gender pattern across the age groups, and several claims are unclear or incorrect. For example, the highest female figure is in the 45–54 group, not simply that this group has the highest percentage overall; the lowest male figure is 35–44. The statement that women aged 35–44 and 45–54 are “equle interested” overlooks their distinct values and the chart’s overall trends. The response is also 13 words below the required minimum. Select the main trends and support them with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: you introduce the chart, separate points into paragraphs, and use markers such as “firstly,” “moreover,” and “overall.” This gives the reader a rough sense of the response’s parts. However, the ideas do not progress clearly from an overview to well-chosen comparisons. The second paragraph’s claims about the highest and lowest groups are difficult to follow, and “on the other side” does not clearly connect the next comparison to the previous point. The final paragraph repeats the idea of highest and lowest values rather than providing a concise summary. Group the information by the overall pattern, then compare the age groups where men and women differ most; use linking words only when they express a clear relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with repeated use of “interested” and “physical activities” to describe participation. Some wording makes the intended meaning difficult to understand, as in “show equl interested” and “like to do more exercise camperison to female.” There are also frequent spelling errors, including “austrialan,” “phyical,” “colleted,” and “futhermore,” which reduce clarity. You do use relevant topic words such as “percentage,” “age group,” and “female,” so the reader can recognise the subject. To improve, use precise chart language and collocations, such as “the proportion who exercised regularly,” “was higher than,” and “reached a peak.” Check spelling and avoid repeating the same description of activity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with little variety in sentence structure. Frequent errors in sentence formation, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the meaning unclear. For example, “the highest percentage og 45to 54 age group like to do physical acitvity” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “55 to 64 female show more interested ratherthen male” has problems with number and sentence construction. The opening also uses an incomplete construction: “The data colleted in percentages.” Capitalisation and spacing after full stops are inconsistent. Aim first for accurate complete sentences with a subject and verb, such as “Women aged 55–64 were more active than men.” Then practise combining accurate clauses to show comparisons.

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