Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The chart shows the percentage of Australian woman and man different age of group who do regular physical activity in 2010 .

The age of 15 to 24 who do regular exerciese percentage is 52.8 to 47.7. It is the large percentage of young man and woman that do daily physical activities. The age of 25 to 34 is minemum difference to 15 to 24. The percentage of this kind of population is 42.2 to 48.9. The age of 35 people percentage is low to other. It percentage is 39.5 that is the cheapeast percentage. The age of 44 people is do regular exercise therefore it percentage is 52.3.

The age 45 is percentage who do physical activities is 43.1. The age of 54 percetage is 53.3 that do daliy exercise . The age 55 is percentage is 45.1. The age of 64 percentage is 53 that is the largiest percentage. The age of 65 percentage who do exercies is 46.7 and after that some are died or some people do exerciuese

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and include several figures, but the response reports the data inaccurately and does not give a clear overview of the main patterns. For example, you call 39.5% the lowest figure, although the chart’s lowest value is 39.5% for men aged 35–44, while the female figures peak at 53.3% for ages 45–54. The statement that people aged 44 have a figure of 52.3% is also incorrect, and the final claim that some people “are died” is unsupported by the chart. A stronger response would summarise the broad contrast—men lead only in the youngest group, while women lead in all other groups—and select accurate comparisons to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows the age groups in roughly chart order, so a reader can see that you are attempting to describe the data. However, ideas are not arranged into a clear overview followed by organised comparisons, and the repeated pattern “The age…” makes the account feel like a list rather than a connected summary. Some links between figures are unclear, as in “The age of 25 to 34 is minemum difference to 15 to 24,” where the intended comparison is difficult to follow. The final sentence introduces an unrelated idea about people dying. Grouping the figures into male and female trends, and using clear comparisons such as “whereas” or “by contrast,” would improve progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” “regular physical activity,” and “daily exercise,” which helps establish the topic. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make the data difficult to interpret. Examples include “cheapeast percentage,” “largiest percentage,” “exerciese,” and “daliy.” Phrases such as “the age of 44 people” and “this kind of population” are also imprecise for describing chart categories. Aim for accurate terms such as “men aged 35–44,” “the proportion,” “the highest figure,” and “participated in regular exercise.” Check spelling and use natural collocations when comparing percentages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts mostly simple statements, with limited control of sentence patterns and frequent errors in sentence construction. For instance, “The age of 15 to 24 who do regular exerciese percentage is 52.8 to 47.7” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “The age of 44 people is do regular exercise” combines incompatible verb forms. Agreement and articles are also problematic in “Australian woman and man” and “The age of 25 to 34 is minemum difference.” These errors often obscure the intended meaning. Practise building complete comparison sentences, for example, “Among people aged 15–24, the figure was 52.8% for men and 47.7% for women.” Use consistent past-tense reporting and check singular/plural forms.

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