Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar chart shows the precentage of australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Overall, it will be clear seen, percentage of austrlain female doing regular physical activity higher ratherthan male.

To being with, percentage of man in 15 to 24 52.8 its 5 % increase females percentage only 47.7. secound age group 25 to 34 women perecnatge doing regular activity in 2010 48.9 ans men 42.2 because at the time some men going job. thired stage of age group is 35 to 44 it is clear seen that females hihgest reatherthan men's .

Futhermore, percentage of austrlian men and women doing regular physical activity in 2010, age group in 55 to 64 in this age group mowen doing daily basses activity 53 and males 45.1only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the chart’s subject and make a relevant overall comparison, noting that women generally recorded higher activity rates. You also report several figures accurately, including the 15–24 and 25–34 comparisons and the female figure for ages 55–64. However, the account is incomplete: it omits the 45–54 and 65-and-over groups, and the 35–44 comparison is not supported with figures. The claim that men were higher in the youngest group is accurate, but the overview’s claim that women were higher overall needs qualification. The explanation that men were working is not shown by the chart. The response is also below the required 150 words, limiting the coverage and development of the main features.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs presenting details. Sequencing phrases such as “To being with” and “Futhermore” signal movement through the information, and the age groups provide some organising framework. However, progression is uneven: the first detail paragraph moves from the youngest to the 35–44 group but stops before completing the comparisons, while the final paragraph jumps to 55–64. Several links are unclear or inaccurate, including “because at the time some men going job,” which interrupts the chart description. Organise the figures systematically by age group or by gender, and use clear comparison links such as “whereas” and “by contrast” to make relationships easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “age group,” and “regular physical activity,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is basic and repetitive, with “percentage” and “doing regular activity” used repeatedly rather than varied or precise descriptions of the data. Numerous spelling errors—such as “precentage,” “austrlain,” “secound,” and “thired”—make the writing less clear and reduce control of vocabulary. Some expressions are also unnatural, for example “daily basses activity” and “females hihgest reatherthan men's.” Build a small set of accurate chart-description phrases, such as “the proportion of women,” “stood at,” and “exceeded,” and check spelling before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts simple statements and some comparisons, but grammatical control is inconsistent and sentence structures are very limited. Errors in sentence formation and missing verbs appear in “percentage of man in 15 to 24 52.8” and “men 42.2,” while “it will be clear seen” has an incorrect verb construction. Articles, plurals, and agreement are also unreliable, as in “percentage of austrlian female” and “some men going job.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries are weak, with several ideas joined into long, unclear sequences. These errors sometimes make the intended relationships difficult to understand. Practise complete subject–verb sentences and accurate comparative forms, for example, “The male figure was 52.8%, compared with 47.7% for females.”

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