Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The bar Chart demostrates the percentage of Australian men and women whoare doing physicalactivity in 2010.

Overall, it is clear that the women of agehad the highest figures. While, the men of age 35 to 44 recorded lowest. Anoher, noticeable feature is that there was a significant difference between men and women.

Looking first at age group of women 45 to 54, the figure stood at 53.3 makiing it highest among all catagories.similarly, the people of age 65 and over recorded the below 50 percent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response identifies a relevant overall pattern, noting that women generally had higher activity figures and that men aged 35–44 recorded the lowest rate. It also accurately reports the female peak of 53.3% for ages 45–54 and observes that the figure for women aged 65 and over was below 50%. However, the chart is only addressed minimally: most age groups and the key contrast between the sexes are not described, and the claim of a “significant difference” is not supported with comparisons. The response is also 65 words below the required minimum, leaving the summary substantially incomplete. To improve, include a fuller overview and compare the male and female figures across the age groups, using selected accurate data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response with an opening, an overview, and a detail paragraph. Phrases such as “Overall” and “Looking first” signal the intended stages of the report. However, the progression stops abruptly after one specific female figure and a brief comment about the oldest group, so the information does not develop into a coherent account of the chart. The link “While” is used awkwardly after a full stop, and “Similarly” does not clearly connect the point that follows. Build a clearer sequence: introduce the chart, summarise the main trends, then compare the age groups in a logical order. Use linking expressions only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-relevant vocabulary, including “percentage,” “figures,” “age group,” and “recorded,” and these choices make the topic recognisable. However, the range is limited, and several spelling errors—“demostrates,” “Anoher,” “makiing,” and “catagories”—are noticeable. Some phrasing is also imprecise: “women of age” does not clearly identify the group, while “the below 50 percent” is an unnatural way to describe a value. Use accurate terms such as “women in the 45–54 age group” and “fell below 50%.” A wider set of precise comparison words, such as “exceeded,” “peaked,” and “declined,” would help describe the chart more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a few different sentence forms, including an overview sentence beginning “While” and a detail sentence with “Looking first.” However, the range remains limited, and errors in sentence construction and punctuation are frequent enough to make parts difficult to read. For example, “While, the men of age 35 to 44 recorded lowest” is an incomplete or awkwardly formed clause, and “Looking first at age group of women 45 to 54, the figure stood at 53.3” is missing an article before “age group.” Several sentences also run together without appropriate spacing or punctuation. Practise writing complete, clearly punctuated sentences, and check articles and clause structure while retaining simple, accurate comparisons.

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