Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. The units have been measured in proportion.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that women aged 45 to 54 reached the highest level of physical activity, while the lowest level was recorded by men aged 35 to 44.
To begin with, it is evident that men aged 15 to 24 contributed 52.8% of the total, whereas it was higher by 5.1% from women in the same group, which occupied 47.7%. Additionally, men and women in the 65 and over category were broadly similar, representing 46.7% and 47.1%.
By contrast, men aged 35 to 44 represented 30.6%, while it was lesser by 21.9% from women in the same bracket, which occupied 52.5%. The largest disparity can be denoted between men and women aged 35 to 44, attributing 30.6% and 52.5%. It is worth highlighting that participation across the various age groups showed a distinct shift between genders, where women generally maintained higher rates in older categories.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the highest and lowest points and made relevant comparisons between genders. However, there is a minor error in your data interpretation: you stated that men aged 15-24 contributed 52.8% and women 47.7%, but then claimed the women's figure was 'higher by 5.1%'. This is mathematically incorrect as 47.7% is lower than 52.8%. Accuracy in data reporting is crucial for a higher band. Otherwise, the key features are well-selected and the summary is effective.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', and 'By contrast' to guide the reader. However, some of the transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally confusing, such as the phrase 'it was lesser by 21.9% from women'. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that pronouns or comparative structures clearly refer back to the correct data point would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 7.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'disparity', 'bracket', and 'proportion' appropriately. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'contributed 52.8% of the total' (which is slightly unnatural in this context) and 'attributing 30.6%' (which is incorrect usage). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary choices accurately reflect the data presented in the chart.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this task. Most of your sentences are clear and easy to follow. There are some grammatical slips, such as 'The units have been measured in proportion' (which is slightly awkward) and the comparative error mentioned in the task achievement section. While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the response from reaching the higher bands where error-free complex structures are more frequent. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and comparative accuracy.
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