Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The bar chart illustrates the information about the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The units are given in proportions.
Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that women aged 45-54 reached the highest level of physical activity, while the lowest level was recorded by man aged 35 to 44.
To begin with, it is evident that men aged man aged 15 to 24 contributed approximately 52.8% of the total, whereas it was higher by 5.1 percentage points women in the same group, which occupied 47.7%. Additionally, men and women in the 65 and over category were broadly similar, representing 46.7% and 47.1%.
By contrast, men aged 35 to 44 represented about 30.6%, while it was lesser by 21.9 percentage points in the same bracket, which occupied 52.5%. Moreover, the largest disparity can be observed between men and women aged 35 to 40 attributing 30.6% and 52.5%. It is worth highlighting that participation for men aged 55 to 64 was 46.1% and for women it was 50%, while the figures for the youngest age group were 52.8% and 47.7%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons. You successfully identified the highest and lowest points and highlighted the disparity between genders in the 35-44 age group. However, there are some inaccuracies in your reporting of the data; for instance, you state that men aged 15-24 contributed 52.8% and women 47.7%, but then later claim the figures for the youngest group were 52.8% and 47.7% again, which is repetitive. Additionally, you mention an age group of '35 to 40' which does not exist on the chart (it is 35-44). To improve, ensure you double-check the data points against the visual aid to avoid misreporting.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized into an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Looking from an overall perspective', 'To begin with', and 'By contrast' to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing and minor errors in referencing. For example, the sentence 'men aged man aged 15 to 24' contains a stutter, and the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the internal cohesion within the final paragraph is slightly disjointed due to the repetitive mention of the same data points.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportions', 'disparity', and 'bracket'. There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'contributed... of the total' and 'it was lesser by', which sound unnatural. The repetition of 'occupied' and 'represented' also limits the sophistication of your writing. To reach a higher band, try to vary your verbs and adjectives when describing trends and differences, and ensure that your terminology for data comparison (e.g., 'percentage points') is used accurately and consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'man aged 35 to 44' (should be 'men') and 'men aged man aged 15 to 24'. The phrase 'it was higher by 5.1 percentage points women' is grammatically awkward and lacks a preposition. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement and prepositions would significantly improve your accuracy.
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