Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-24
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian male and female engaging in various regular exercise in 2010. After analyzing the bar chart, it is evident that there was a nearly 5% difference between the percentage of male and female participating in regular exercise within the 15-24 age group in Australian. Additionally, within the 25-34 age group, approximately 40 % of men and 50% female engaged in physical activities in same notion. Moreover, almost, 40 % males in the 35-44 age bracket performed physical work, while the proportion of females increased around 52%in the same group. Further the bar chart combined percentage of men and women engaged in regular exercise in Australian within the 45-54 age group was approximately 96% in the given year. Furthermore, around 45% of men participated in physical activities within the age of 55-64 age range. while the percentage of women was roughly 8% higher that of men in 2010. Moreover, the percentage of male and female aged 65 and over in Australia during the same period. Overall, it is evident that the highest percentage of women engaging in exercise was observe, while the lowest percentage of men participating in physical activities during the specified period .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers the main features of the chart, but the presentation of data is inconsistent and occasionally confusing. While you identify some key differences between age groups, the final sentence is incomplete, failing to report the data for the 65+ age group. Furthermore, the attempt to combine percentages for the 45-54 age group is inaccurate based on the typical interpretation of such charts. To improve, ensure you report data for all categories clearly and avoid making mathematical calculations that are not supported by the visual data. The overview is present but lacks clarity regarding the overall trends.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay uses some cohesive devices such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore', but their use is often mechanical and sometimes repetitive. The paragraphing is problematic; the response is essentially one large block of text with some arbitrary line breaks, which hinders the logical flow. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, particularly in the latter half of the response. To achieve a higher score, focus on grouping related information into distinct paragraphs—for example, one for younger age groups and one for older age groups—and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'engaged in physical activities in same notion' and 'performed physical work'. You also struggle with word forms, such as using 'female' as a noun instead of 'females' or 'women'. While you attempt to use some descriptive language, the repetition of 'percentage' and 'participated' limits your score. Expanding your range of synonyms and focusing on correct word collocations will help you convey information more professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the highest percentage of women... was observe'), missing articles, and incorrect prepositional usage. The sentence structures are mostly simple, and the attempt at complex sentences often results in errors, such as the incomplete final sentence. To improve, pay closer attention to basic sentence construction and proofread for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency. Increasing the variety of your sentence structures while maintaining accuracy is essential for a higher band score.
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