Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of Australian men and women in different age group doing regular physical activity in 2010.
To commence with, it is noticeable that first of all in the 15 to 24 under age physical activity male at 52.8% and female at 47.7% in 2010. Moreover, in the 25 to 34 age physical activity at 42.2% male active and at 48.9% female and in the 35 to 44 age at 52.5% women took part in regular physical activity compared to men at 39.5%. Moreover, female participation thedn reached a peak of 53.3% in the 45 to 54 afe group and before declining slightly to 53% among 55 to 64 year old and 47.1% among those aged 65 and over.
Overall, it becomes apparent that women were more physical active than men in all age group except those aged 15 to 24. Female participation remained fairly staable at around 47-53%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers the main features of the chart and makes relevant comparisons. You have identified the key trends, such as the peak in female participation and the general comparison between genders. However, the report is somewhat mechanical in its presentation of data. To reach a higher band, ensure you group the data more logically rather than listing figures chronologically. For example, you could group the age categories where women outperformed men versus those where men were more active. While the overview is present, it could be more analytical by highlighting the most significant differences or the overall trend across all age groups more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices like 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'Overall'. However, some of these transitions feel slightly forced or repetitive. The flow between sentences is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, such as 'in the 15 to 24 under age physical activity male at 52.8%'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will help improve the overall coherence. The paragraphing is appropriate for a report of this length.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey the necessary information about percentages and age groups. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'under age' instead of 'age group' and 'physical active' instead of 'physically active'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. To improve, try to incorporate more varied reporting verbs and adjectives to describe trends, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained consistent', or 'a significant disparity'. Spelling errors like 'staable' and 'afe' also detract from the overall quality.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For instance, 'in the 15 to 24 under age physical activity male at 52.8%' lacks a main verb and proper prepositional structure. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and word order, such as 'female participation thedn reached a peak'. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for small errors would be highly beneficial.
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