Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar chat illustrates the information about the proportion of Australian people by dividing in gender male and female in various age groups in 2010.

Overall it can be seen that, by comaring with male the female people were performed more physical acivities.However, only the most young boys played more than girls.

For male group, at the age 15 to 24, it showed top level performance and by it was 52.8 %. Then 25 to 44 age period it declined its proportion by reaching below 40% and that time female were surged their percentage.After that male people developed their out door activites before increasing 46.7% and just below to female.

for female group, after 24 year it stood high position than male. They showed their peak at 45 to 54 years peiod by reaching 53.3% . Then decresed and alt last it was 47.1 %.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response covers the main features of the bar chart, such as the peak age groups and the general trend of female participation. However, the report is under the 150-word minimum, which limits the depth of the analysis. While you identified key comparisons, the description of the data is somewhat fragmented. To improve, ensure you provide a more comprehensive overview of the data points and ensure the response meets the length requirement to allow for full development of the task. The summary of the trends is accurate, but the lack of sufficient length prevents a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate, such as 'After that male people developed their out door activites'. The transition between sentences could be smoother to improve the flow of information. Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult to track which age group or gender is being discussed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear logical progression between sentences will help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. Phrases like 'top level performance' and 'developed their out door activites' are slightly unnatural in this context. There are also some spelling errors, such as 'comaring' and 'decresed'. To achieve a higher band, try to use more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained constant', or 'a significant proportion'. Expanding your range of vocabulary will allow you to describe the trends more effectively and professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'the female people were performed more physical acivities' and 'at the age 15 to 24, it showed top level performance'. There are also issues with article usage and verb tense consistency. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and practice with sentence construction. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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