Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The bar graph illustrates the information in terms of percentage regarding males and females from different age groups who are involved in some sort of physical activity in Australia during 2010.

From an overall perspective, it is evident that the middle aged women recorded the highest proportion, while men from the same age group witnessed the smallest proportion.

Firstly, the proportion of middle aged women doing physical activity was dominant, at 53.3%. Notable, men who are in young adulthood, accounted for 47.7%, which is the higher percentage among men. Moreover, minimal difference of near about 1% was noticed in the proportion of older men and female involved in regular exercise.

In contrast, the proportion of women doing regular physical activity was higher in all age groups, except young adulthood. However, there was huge difference in the proportion of midlife adults as women were accounted for 52.5%, whereas men recorded 39.5%. The same trend is witnessed among middle aged men and women as their proportion was 43.1 and 53.3,repectively. Women from all age groups acquired the major proportion as compare to men.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons. You successfully identified the highest and lowest proportions and noted the general trend of women participating more in physical activity. However, the report contains some inaccuracies regarding the data. For instance, you mention 'middle aged women' twice with different figures (53.3% and 52.5%), and the claim that women were higher in all age groups except young adulthood is slightly confusing given the data provided. To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are cited consistently and that comparisons are clearly linked to the specific age groups shown in the chart.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by repetitive phrasing and some awkward transitions between sentences. For example, the final paragraph attempts to summarize but repeats information already mentioned, which disrupts the logical progression. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, distinct focus would enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'witnessed', and 'dominant'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'middle aged women' (which may not accurately reflect the age categories provided) and 'near about'. Additionally, there are minor errors in word form and spelling, such as 'repectively'. To improve, try to use more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is varied enough to avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'women were accounted for 52.5%' (should be 'accounted for 52.5%') and 'as compare to' (should be 'compared to'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, though there are minor issues with spacing and commas. The sentence structures are functional, but you should aim for greater accuracy in verb forms and prepositional usage to minimize errors that, while not impeding communication, do occur frequently enough to impact the score.

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