Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-27

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given bar graph compares the proportion of Australian male and female in different age of groups who did everyday physical activity in 2010.

Overall, it can be noted that 15 to 24 age of group male had the highest percentage in physical activities, while 35 to 44 age of group male had the lowest percentage in physical activities.

To begin with, 15 to 24 male age of group had the 52.8%, while female group had the 47.7%. Furthermore, 42.2% male age of group involved in physical activities who had 25 to 34 age, whereas female group had the 48.9% in 2010. 39.5% men group regular in physical activities who had 35 to 44 age, however women group was 52.5%.

On the other hand , 45 to 54 age of group male had 43.1% , while female group had 53.3% which was the highest in all others groups. Moreover, 45.1% male doing physical activities who had 55 to 64 age , whereas women had the 33%. 65 and over age of group male and female was similarly proportion 46.7% and 47.1%.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main features and making relevant comparisons. You successfully highlighted the highest and lowest points for both genders. However, the overview is slightly limited; while you mention the highest and lowest, a more comprehensive summary would briefly note the general trend or the most striking difference between genders across the age groups. The data is presented accurately, and the selection of key features is appropriate for an IELTS Task 1 response. To improve, ensure that your overview provides a broader 'big picture' summary of the data trends rather than just listing specific high and low points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group the data effectively. You use some cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive (e.g., 'age of group male'). The progression of ideas is clear, but the use of cohesive devices could be more varied and natural to improve the overall flow. Ensure that you use a wider range of linking words to connect your comparisons more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey the necessary information about percentages and age groups. However, there is significant repetition of phrases like 'age of group' and 'physical activities'. The word choice is sometimes awkward, such as 'men group regular in physical activities' and 'similarly proportion'. To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise terminology and avoid repeating the same structures. Using synonyms for 'percentage', 'proportion', and 'group' would demonstrate a more flexible range of vocabulary and improve the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with word order, article usage, and prepositional phrases (e.g., '15 to 24 age of group male' instead of 'the 15-24 age group of men'). There are also issues with verb forms, such as '45.1% male doing physical activities' instead of '45.1% of men participated in'. These errors are noticeable and occur throughout the text. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct sentence construction will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

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