Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-27
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The pro bar graph represented the data of Australian men and women doing regular physical activity. It is evident that the information is given in the year of 2010 respectively.
To embark with, it is noticeable that at starting at the age of 15 to 24 men percentage was 52.8 whereas, women physical activity was ebb than men that showed approximately 47.7 in the given pro graph. Afterwards, at the age of 25 to 34 percentage of males fitness activity was less than females which was 48.9. Meanwhile, the age group of 35 to 44 again the males numbers was declined which was 35.9 than females that was 52.5 in bodily movement. Post hoc, the age group of 45 to 54 men ratio represented 43.1 of physical activity and women showed higher which was 53.3. Eventually, the period of life 55 to 65 reflects the digits was 45.1 that was decreased than females and women was 53% in physical fitness. Lastly, 65 and over age of both sexes was almost constant there was only variation of .4.
Overall, it is apparent that male percentage at the age of starting was on peak and rest of them it highlights dropped than women ratio in exercise.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers all age groups and makes relevant comparisons between men and women. However, the overview is weak; it focuses only on the 15-24 age group and fails to capture the broader trends, such as the fact that women generally participated in more physical activity than men in most age groups. The reporting of data is accurate, but the lack of a clear, comprehensive summary of the main trends prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure the overview highlights the most significant patterns across the entire dataset rather than just one specific point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from one age group to the next. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or unnatural. Phrases like 'To embark with' and 'Post hoc' are used incorrectly in this context, which disrupts the flow. While the paragraphing is sufficient, the internal cohesion relies on repetitive sentence structures, making the text feel somewhat disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used in the correct context would significantly enhance the coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'ebb' used as a verb to mean 'lower', 'bodily movement' to describe physical activity, and 'digits' to refer to percentages. These errors occasionally make the meaning slightly unclear. To achieve a higher band, you should focus on using more precise terminology related to data description (e.g., 'proportion', 'figure', 'surpassed') and avoid using informal or incorrectly applied vocabulary. The range is sufficient to convey the main points but lacks sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('males numbers was declined'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing ('the age group of 35 to 44 again the males numbers was declined'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that articles are used correctly. Reducing these persistent errors will help improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
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