Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The following bar graph depicts that the total proportion of australian men and women doing physical activities on regular in the year 2010.
overall, it is evident that that are total 6 types of different age groups categorised as 15-24, 25-34 , 35-44, 45-54, 55-64 , 65 and above .
Male community has doing least exercise then women only age group of 15-20 has high proportion accounted as 52.8% .moreover, 65 and above has not major difference it counted at 46.7% only . while only 35-44 has lowest proportion stands at only 39.5%.
in female dominant has highest rank in doing exercise we can say that female is more health concious then male as of it was stand at peak of 53.3 where male accounted at only 52.8.
and lowest proportion is 47.7 vice versa 39.5. the major difference stated at age of 35 to 44 approx it around 12.5%.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response attempts to summarise the data but struggles with clarity and accuracy. While you identify the main features, the interpretation of the figures is often confusing or incorrect, such as the claim that 'male community has doing least exercise' when the data shows fluctuations. The comparison between genders is attempted, but the lack of precise data reporting makes it difficult to follow. To improve, ensure you clearly state the trends for each age group and use the provided percentages accurately to support your observations. The overview is present but lacks the necessary analytical depth to fully capture the main trends across the age categories.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt or missing, making the progression of ideas feel disjointed. For example, the jump from discussing age groups to gender comparisons lacks a clear linking phrase. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'in contrast,' 'furthermore,' 'consequently') to connect your ideas more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through the information being presented.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, with several errors in word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'male community has doing least exercise' and 'female dominant has highest rank' are grammatically incorrect and unnatural. There is also a lack of precise terminology for describing data trends (e.g., 'stood at,' 'peaked at,' 'fluctuated'). To improve, focus on learning collocations related to data description and avoid using informal or non-standard phrasing. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and adjectives will help you convey the information more precisely and professionally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include incorrect verb tenses ('has doing'), missing articles, and awkward sentence structures ('as of it was stand at peak'). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with spacing around commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and sentence construction. Practice writing error-free simple sentences before attempting more complex structures, and ensure you proofread your work to correct basic mechanical errors like capitalization and spacing.
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