Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The bar chart above depicts who do the routine physical activities among the men and women in australia in terms of different age groups year 2010.
Overall, the percentage of females 'shows the high ratio throughout the period.The percentage of mens show slightly less in the given Period.
It is clearly noticeable women at the age of 15 to 24 shows the huge percentage is for the girls when comparitely with the boys.In the age of 45 to 54 group people has a good amount of physical strength Men reached almost 45 percent.where as women records the highest part.
It is shifted in the 65 and over age period of people both men and women maintained the equal percentage with the percentage of 46.7 and 47.1 respectively.
The age group of 35 to 44 are very active women marked the majority percentage almost 50 above percentage.54 to 64 years of women's maintained a same ratio.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart. However, the analysis is somewhat inconsistent. While you identify some key trends, such as the comparison between age groups, the description of the data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing, such as the claim that women in the 35-44 age group were '50 above percentage' without clear data support. To improve, ensure that you accurately transcribe figures from the chart and provide a more balanced overview that highlights the most significant differences and similarities between the genders across all age categories.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the flow between sentences is often mechanical and sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. The use of cohesive devices is limited and occasionally misused, such as 'It is shifted in the 65 and over age period'. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in contrast', 'consequently') to connect your ideas more fluidly and logically throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate to convey the basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and range expected for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'shows the high ratio' and 'records the highest part'. Additionally, there are errors in word choice and form, such as 'mens' instead of 'men' and 'comparitely' instead of 'comparatively'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology related to data description, such as 'proportion', 'fluctuated', or 'remained stable', and ensure correct word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('women at the age of 15 to 24 shows') and incorrect preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and unnecessary capitalization. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and consistent punctuation, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
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