Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 7.0)
THE GIVEN BAR CHART DEPICTS THE PERCENTAGEE OF AUSTRALIAN MALS AND FEMALES OFVARIOUS AGE RANGES, WHO PERFORMED REGULAR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY DURING THE YEAR 2010. THE FOLLOWING ESSAY THROWS LIGHT ON THE INFORMATION MAKE THE NECESSARY COMPARISIONS.
AUSTRALIAN MALES HAD THEIR HIGHEST CONTRIBUTION IN THE AGE GROUP OF 15 TO 24 AT 52.8%, WHILE LEAST PARTICPATION CAME FROM THE AGES 35 TO 44 AT 39.5%. THE PARTICIPATION BY AUSTRALIAN MEN IN REGULAR PHYSICALACTIVITY CAN BE OBSERVED AS AN UPWARD PARABOLA, WITH THE AGES 25 TO 34, 45 TO 54, 55 TO 64 AND 65 DEPICTS THE PERCENTAGES 42.2, 43.1, 45.1 AND 46.7 RESPECTIVELY.
ON THE OTHER HAND, AUSTRALIAN WOMEN PERCENTAGES CAN BE UNDERSTOOD AS THE MIDDLE SECTION OF A BELL CURVE, WITH MOST PARTICIPATIONS FROM THE AGES 45 TO 54 AT 53.3%, AND LEAST PARTICIPATION FROMTHE AGE GROUP 65 AND OVER AT 47.1%. THE OTHER FIGURES ALSO STAYS CLOSE TO EACH OTHER WITH NOT MUCH OF A STEEP RISE OR FALL. AGES 15 TO 24, 25 TO 34, 35 TO 44 AND 55 TO 64 SHOWS THEIR VALUES AT 47.7%, 48.9%, 52.5%, 53%, 47.1%.
ONE IMPORTANT THING TO NOTICE IS THAT THE PERCENTAGE SOF MEN WAS NEVER HIGHER THAN THE PERCENTAGES FOR WOMEN EXCEPT FOR THE AGE GROUP OF 15 TO 24.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main features and making relevant comparisons. You successfully highlighted the key trends for both genders and identified the crossover point in the 15-24 age group. However, the analysis is slightly hindered by some inaccuracies in data reporting (e.g., the list of percentages for women does not align perfectly with the provided data points). To reach a higher band, ensure that data points are transcribed precisely and that the overview clearly synthesizes the most significant trends rather than just listing figures. The inclusion of an overview is present, but it could be more analytical regarding the overall contrast between the two groups.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each gender, and a concluding summary. The progression of ideas is generally clear. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'One important thing to notice', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and the referencing of data could be smoother to avoid repetitive sentence structures. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different groups, which helps the overall flow of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contribution', 'participation', and 'steep rise'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'PERCENTAGEE', 'MALS', 'PARTICIPATION', and 'COMPARISIONS', which detract from the professional tone. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the meaning, the range is somewhat limited, and the errors in basic spelling and word formation prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for spelling and using more precise collocations would improve this score significantly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('The other figures also stays', 'shows their values') and punctuation errors. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to pluralization and verb agreement. The attempt to use complex structures is evident, but the accuracy needs to be more consistent to reach the 7.0 band. Ensure that your sentences are grammatically sound before moving on to more complex forms.
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