Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given bar graph gives us information about Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in the year 2010. The data has been calibrated in percentage.

A cursory glance at the chart is adequate enough to reveal that in 2010, men at the age of 15 to 24 did 52.8% of physical activity which was at its peak. Moreover, it declined rapidly in 25 to 34 age groups male as well as it further decreased slightly at 35 to 44 age men.

Further looking at the graph it can be clearly seen that, female physical activity at the age of 45 to 54 was 53.3% compared to all age groups. In addition, it dropped shortly to 53% and at the age of 65 and over it fell abruptly to 47.1%.

After analysing the chart men physcial activity showed fluctuating trend in the country Australia in the year 2010.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have identified some key features of the data, such as the peak for men and the trends for women. However, the response lacks a comprehensive overview. You mention that men's activity showed a 'fluctuating trend,' but this is not clearly supported by the data provided. Furthermore, the comparison between genders is limited. To reach a higher band, you should group the data more logically—perhaps by comparing age groups across both genders—and ensure that the most significant trends (such as the general decline in activity as age increases) are clearly highlighted in an overview paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally inaccurate. For example, 'Further looking at the graph' is a slightly unnatural transition. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed, particularly when moving between age groups. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'conversely,' 'in contrast,' 'subsequently') to connect your sentences and ideas more fluidly, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision required for higher bands. Phrases like 'calibrated in percentage' are misused; 'measured in percentages' would be more accurate. You also rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'at the age of.' To improve, try to incorporate more varied ways of describing data trends, such as 'witnessed a decline,' 'remained relatively stable,' or 'reached a plateau.' Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' will also help demonstrate a more sophisticated command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For instance, 'men at the age of 15 to 24 did 52.8% of physical activity' is awkward; it would be better to say '52.8% of men aged 15 to 24 participated in regular physical activity.' Additionally, there are issues with article usage and prepositional phrases (e.g., 'in the country Australia'). Focusing on subject-verb agreement and more natural phrasing will help improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.

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