Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The Bar chart given below illustrate the percentage of physical activity done by Australian males and females with various age groups from 15 to above 65 in 2010.

Overall the women of age group from 15 to 64 shown the substantially increased physical activity followed the upward path in comparison to the males which has been fluctuated. The percentage of both gender almost remained equal at the age above 65.

In detail at first from age category of 15 to 24 males constituted of 52% which later on plummeted till the age of 35 to 44 of age after that figures rose upto 46% in age above 65 while in women it has been steadily grew over time, started from 15 of age (47%) which surged upto 53% at the age of 55-64 then edged down.

Above 65 of age for both men and women stood at 46% for male and 47% for female.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response covers the main features of the bar chart, including the trends for both genders and the comparison at the final age group. However, the reporting of data is occasionally inaccurate or confusing. For instance, stating that male participation 'plummeted' between 15-24 and 35-44 is a bit hyperbolic given the actual data points, and the description of the 15-24 age group is slightly muddled. While the overview identifies the main trends, the lack of precision in reporting specific figures and the slight misinterpretation of the data flow prevent a higher band score. To improve, ensure that data points are cited accurately and that the summary of trends is more closely aligned with the visual evidence provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Overall', 'In detail', and 'while', which help guide the reader. However, the flow within the body paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'followed the upward path in comparison to the males which has been fluctuated'. The transition between the general overview and the specific data points could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents would enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'constituted of' (should be 'constituted' or 'consisted of') and 'steadily grew over time' (should be 'grew steadily') indicate a lack of precision. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as 'plummeted' and 'surged', but these are sometimes used inaccurately in the context of the data. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations correctly and ensuring that verbs describing trends (e.g., 'fluctuated', 'edged down') are used with the appropriate grammatical structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb tenses and subject-verb agreement, such as 'The Bar chart... illustrate' (should be 'illustrates') and 'women... shown' (should be 'showed'). Additionally, the sentence 'males which has been fluctuated' is grammatically incorrect. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive and active voice when describing data trends.

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