Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The bar chart gives information about the proportion of Australian people (men and women) who engaged the regular physical activity in different age groups in the year of 2010.
Overall, women were more active in mostly all regular physical activity than the mens group, accept the the group of 15 to 24 Additionally, women of 45 to 54 age group were higher than that the mens group of 35 to 44 ages. Whereas, men are regularly decline in physical activity.
In 2010, proportion of Australian physical activity 15 to 24 age bracket of men was 52.8, women was 47.7. In addition, the process is going to reverse from before women was rising upward to 48.9% and men were rise downward to 42.2 in the 25 to 34 age groups.
Moreover, in the 35 to 44 age bracket in women was 52.5%, men was 39.5%. Furthermore, the proportion of physical activity of women was 53.3 and men was 43.1 in age groups of 45 to 54%Women stayed at 53% and men increase 45.1 the age groups of 55 to 64 years. Only this age groups 65 and over, men and women was stayed at the same percentage are 46.7 and 47.1
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response covers the main features of the data and makes relevant comparisons. You successfully identified the general trend that women were more active than men in most age groups. However, the summary is slightly marred by inaccuracies in data reporting and some confusing phrasing. For example, the statement 'men are regularly decline in physical activity' is not supported by the data, which shows fluctuations. Additionally, some data points are misstated or lack clarity, such as the comparison between the 45-54 and 35-44 age groups. To improve, ensure that your data points are precise and that your overview accurately reflects the overall patterns shown in the chart without introducing contradictory information.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Additionally', 'Whereas', and 'Moreover'. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward sentence structures and mechanical transitions. Some sentences are disjointed, making the progression of ideas feel a bit forced. For instance, the transition 'the process is going to reverse from before' is unclear. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations. Phrases like 'engaged the regular physical activity' (should be 'engaged in') and 'mens group' (should be 'men's group') indicate a need for more precise control. You also use 'rise downward', which is a contradictory collocation. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the errors in word form and preposition usage are noticeable. Expanding your range of synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' and focusing on correct prepositional phrases will help improve your score in this criterion.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('men and women was stayed'), incorrect verb forms ('men were rise'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of percentages and age groups. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to impact the clarity of the report. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your verb tenses are consistent when describing data from a past year.
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