Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar charts illustrates the proportion of Australian male and female in different age groups doing regular physical activity in 2010. The data is calibrated in percentages.
Overall, the highest percentage was observed for 15 to 24 age group males, while in 45 to 54 age group of female accounted for the dominant percentage. In 65 and over age group of male and female showed equal percentage.
To begin with, in 15 to 24 age group, male stood at 52.8% which was the greatest percentage for doing physical activity among the all age group and female represented 47.7%. Moreover, 25 to 34 age group, female had a more percentage compared to male, female had 48.9% and male had 42.2%.
Turning to, for 35 to 44 age group, female had 52.5% which was second highest. male contained only 39.5%. In 45 to 54 age group, a considerable percentage was represented by female and which was the highest among the females in every age group, it was around 53.3%, while male had only 43.1%
In addition, for 55 to 64 age group observed similar kind of percentage to 45 to 54. Conversely, 65 and over age group had similar percentage for male and female.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
You have successfully identified the main features of the data and provided relevant comparisons between the age groups and genders. You covered all age categories and highlighted the key trends, such as the peak participation for males in the 15-24 group and females in the 45-54 group. However, the overview is slightly confusing; for instance, stating that the 65 and over group showed an 'equal percentage' is not entirely accurate based on the visual data, as there is a slight difference. To improve, ensure your overview captures the most significant trends rather than focusing on minor details, and double-check your data interpretation to ensure complete accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', and 'Turning to' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Turning to, for 35 to 44 age group'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where you mention 'similar kind of percentage' without specifying which group it is being compared to. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'calibrated', and 'dominant'. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For example, 'male contained only 39.5%' is unnatural; 'accounted for' or 'stood at' would be more appropriate. You also repeat 'percentage' frequently, which limits the sophistication of your writing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied synonyms for 'percentage' (e.g., 'figure', 'proportion', 'rate') and ensure your collocations are more natural for academic reporting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'in 45 to 54 age group'), incorrect pluralization (e.g., 'bar charts illustrates'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'female had a more percentage'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, as these are foundational elements that will improve the overall accuracy of your writing.
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