Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE PHYSICAL EXCERTION DONE BY SIX AGE GROUPS OF MEN AND WOMEN IN AUSTRALIA FREQUENTLY IN 2010.
OVERALL, THE FEMALES ARE ON A HIGHER PERCENTILE IN DOING EXERCISE DURING THEIR SEVERAL SPAN OF LIFE WHILE MEN STANDS IN LOWER PROPORTION THAN WOMEN EXCEPT IN 15 TO 24 YEARS OF AGE.
MENS BETWEEN 15 TO 24 YEARS EXERCISE MOSTLY AROUND 52.8% CONSIDERING WOMEN OF 47.7%. HOWEVER DURING 25 TO 34 YEARS, MENS PERCENTAGE SHARPLY LOWER TO 42.2% WHILE WOMEN INCRESE SLIGHLY TO 48.9%. IN 35 TO 44 YEARS, MEN EXPERIENCES A BIGGEST DROP IN THEIR PROPORTION TO 39.5% IN CONTRAST OF 52.5% OF WOMEN.
BESIDES THIS, WOMENS FIND THE HIGHEST PEAK ON THEIR 45 TO 54 YEARS OF AGE AT A LEVEL OF 53.35% AS MEN IMPROVES GRADUALLY TO 43.1%. MEANWHILE MEN IMPROVES QUITE MORE ON 55 TO 64 YEARS AT A LEVEL OF 45.1 & WOMEN KEEP SAME CONSISTENCY AS BEFORE.
IN LAST, AT THE AGE OF 65 AND OVER, BOTH MEN AND WOMEN FIND CONSTANT VALUE OF EXERCISE WITH NEAR VALUE OF 46.7 & 47.1 RESPECTIVELY.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response provides a clear overview of the main trends and successfully selects key data points to support the summary. You have identified the general trend that women participate more in physical activity than men, with the exception of the youngest age group. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reporting; for instance, you state that women's participation peaks at 53.35%, which is not supported by the chart. Additionally, the comparison between age groups could be more analytical rather than just listing figures. To improve, ensure that all data points are transcribed accurately and focus on highlighting the most significant differences or similarities between the two groups.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs focusing on specific age ranges. You use some cohesive devices such as 'however', 'besides this', and 'meanwhile' to link ideas. However, the use of some connectors is slightly unnatural or mechanical, such as 'in last' to introduce the final paragraph. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing could be improved to ensure smoother transitions between sentences. The paragraphing is appropriate, which helps the reader follow the comparison between men and women across the different age categories.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'consistency', and 'sharply'. However, there are several errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'excertion' instead of 'exertion', 'percentile' used incorrectly to mean 'percentage', and 'mens' instead of 'men's'. Some phrasing is also slightly awkward, such as 'find the highest peak on their 45 to 54 years of age'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for data description and ensure correct word forms and possessive apostrophes are used consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'men stands', 'men experiences', 'men improves') and the use of articles. There are also issues with preposition usage and pluralization. While these errors do not completely prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to limit the score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that plural nouns are handled correctly, especially when discussing groups of people.
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