Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE BAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE PHYSICAL EXERTION DONE BY SIX AGE GROUPS OF MEN AND WOMEN IN AUSTRALIA FREQUENTLY IN 2010.

OVERALL, THE FEMALE ARE ON A HIGHER PERCENTAGE IN DOING EXERCISE DURING THEIR LIFESPAN WHILE MEN STAND IN LOWER PROPORTION THAN WOMEN EXCEPT IN 15 TO 24 YEARS OF AGE.

MEN BETWEEN 15 TO 24 YEARS EXERCISE MOSTLY AROUND 52.8% COMPARED TO WOMEN OF 47.7%. HOWEVER DURING 25 TO 34 YEARS, MEN'S PERCENTAGE BECOME LOWER TO 42.2% WHILE WOMEN INCREASE SLIGHLY TO 48.9%. IN 35 TO 44 YEARS, MEN EXPERIENCE A BIGGEST DROP IN THEIR PROPORTION TO 39.5% IN CONTRAST OF 52.5% OF WOMEN.

BESIDES THIS, WOMEN FIND THE HIGHEST PEAK ON THEIR 45 TO 54 YEARS OF AGE AT A LEVEL OF 53.35% AS MEN IMPROVE GRADUALLY TO 43.1%. MEANWHILE THE AMOUNT OF MEN INCREASE QUITE MORE ON 55 TO 64 YEARS AT A LEVEL OF 45.1 & WOMEN KEEP SAME CONSISTENCY AS BEFORE.

IN LAST, AT THE AGE OF 65 AND OVER, BOTH MEN AND WOMEN FIND CONSTANT VALUE OF EXERCISE WITH NEAR VALUE OF 46.7 & 47.1 RESPECTIVELY.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You successfully identified the key comparison between genders across the age groups. However, the analysis is slightly mechanical, and some data points are presented without sufficient synthesis. For instance, the description of the 35-44 age group as a 'biggest drop' is accurate, but the overall summary could be more analytical by focusing on the broader patterns of participation rather than listing figures for every single age bracket. The inclusion of specific data points is good, but ensure that the comparison is always the focus.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'however', 'besides this', and 'meanwhile' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly forced or repetitive, such as 'in last' (which should be 'finally' or 'in the final age group'). The paragraphing is appropriate, and there is a clear progression of information from the youngest to the oldest age groups. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking phrases to make the flow between sentences more natural and less mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'consistency', and 'exertion'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'physical exertion done' is not the most natural phrasing; 'participation in physical activity' would be better. 'The female are on a higher percentage' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'females have a higher percentage'. There are also minor errors in precision, such as 'near value' instead of 'similar figures'. Expanding your range of descriptive verbs and nouns will help you reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the female'), subject-verb agreement ('men's percentage become'), and preposition usage ('in contrast of'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'the amount of men increase quite more'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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