Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the individuals by the different age groups who took part of regular physical activity in Australia in the year of 2010.Overall , itt is the evident that in the group of adolecence men were more active than women ,whereas this trend was opposite for the other 4 age groups which are between 25 to 64 age.There was a amazing fact that between the old aged people men and women both were identically active in phycisal activities.
To begin with, the youth group between the age 15 to 24, 52.8% mens was attended in physical activities,while 47.7 % of women was active.On the other hand,between the aged people men and women took part of activities respectively 46.7% and 47.1 %.
Furthermore,Among these six groups ,between young and middle aged groups ,women shown comparatively more interest rather than mens. In addition, 42.2% of mens interested in physical activities for 25 to 34 age but this proportion slightly decresed for 35 to 44 age group,while between womens its completely opposite,where respectively 48.9% and 52.5% of womens for these two groups participated in outdoor activities.
Lastly,for 45 to 54 and 55 to 64 age groups,identical percentage of womens attended in physical activities which was 53 % while in 45 to 54 age group 43.4% and in 55 to 64 age group 45 .1% mens was active.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task by identifying the main trends and comparing the data across age groups. You successfully highlighted the contrast between the 15-24 age group and the older categories. However, the report lacks precision in data presentation. For instance, you mention 'identical percentage' for women in the 45-54 and 55-64 groups, but the data provided in the text is inconsistent with the chart's likely trends. Additionally, some data points are mislabeled or confusingly phrased, such as the reference to 'old aged people' which is not a category on the chart. To improve, ensure that every figure cited is accurate and clearly linked to the specific age group.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on specific age groups. You use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'There was a amazing fact that...' is a weak way to introduce a comparison. The referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly when discussing the 'other 4 age groups'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall progression of your ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proportion', 'participated', and 'trend'. However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'mens was attended' instead of 'men participated' and 'old aged people' instead of 'the oldest age group'. There are also spelling errors like 'phycisal' and 'decresed'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise terminology for data reporting and ensure that you use the correct plural forms for nouns (e.g., 'men' instead of 'mens').
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement is a significant issue, seen in phrases like '52.8% mens was attended' and 'women shown'. Additionally, there are errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in the group of adolecence' and 'took part of activities'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and pluralization, is essential.
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