Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-06
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given vertical column graph depicts the information about the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in the year 2010. The data has been calibrated into a percentage.
Overall, it is crystal clear that the highest proportion of masses doing regular exercises was in the age group 15-24, while the lowest percentile was in the 35 to 44 age group.
At the fleeting glance, in the age group 15 to 24, around 52.8% of males were doing physical activity, which was followed by 47.7 in females. Furthermore, in the 25 to 34 age group, 42.2 percent were male, which climbed up to 48.9% in females. Significantly, only 39.5% of males aged 35 to 44 do exercise, while the percentage in females inclines to 52.5%.
Moving further, in 45 to 54-year-old, the ratio in females steadily goes up to 53.3%, whereas in males, the percentile plunged to 43.1%. In the age group 55 to 64 around 53% in females while in males percentage goes down to 45.1%. Lastly, surprisingly in age group 65 and over ratio was similar in both men and women which was 47% approximately.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response covers all parts of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You have successfully identified the key features, such as the highest participation in the 15-24 age group and the convergence of figures in the 65+ category. However, the analysis could be improved by ensuring data points are consistently accurate and clearly compared. For instance, stating 'the lowest percentile was in the 35 to 44 age group' is a good summary, but ensure that comparisons between genders are more explicitly linked to the data provided to fully support your observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Moving further', and 'Lastly' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be smoother. For example, 'At the fleeting glance' is an unnatural opening for a paragraph. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus would help elevate the flow of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'calibrated', 'proportion', and 'inclines'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'masses' is not appropriate in this formal context, and 'percentile' is used incorrectly; you should use 'percentage' or 'proportion'. Additionally, 'climb up' and 'plunged' are slightly informal or imprecise for describing statistical data. Focusing on more precise academic collocations will help improve your score in this area.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is generally effective. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'in 45 to 54-year-old' should be 'in the 45 to 54 age group', and 'ratio in females steadily goes up' lacks a clear subject-verb agreement or prepositional clarity. There are also minor issues with article usage and tense consistency. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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