Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

This bar chart illustratesthe percentage of men and womenin different age groups who did regular physical activivty in 2010.There are total six different age groups which demonstrates the comparision.

Overall, In the beginning the men dominates women, however women overtooked them in the very second age group.Women dominated them throughout the all age groups.Men peak percentage was in the very beginning.On the other hand women peaked in middle of their age group.

Initially, the first age group (15 to 24) the men percentage was 52.8% more than women (47.7%).However women overtooked men in the second age group (25 to 34), in which men percentage falls dramatically to 42.2%.In the fourth age group (45 to 54),women peaked with 53.3% and men continued to improve.In the last and second last age group (55 to 64 and 65 or above than that) their is a slight fall in women percentage

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which negatively impacts the score. While you have identified the main features of the chart, the analysis is incomplete. You mention that women dominated in all age groups, but the data shows men were higher in the 15-24 category. Furthermore, the description of the trends is somewhat confusing and lacks precision. For example, you state that men's percentage 'falls dramatically' in the second group, but the data shows a shift from 52.8% to 42.2%, which is significant but perhaps not 'dramatic' in context. To improve, ensure you provide a clear overview and support all claims with accurate data points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, such as 'Initially' and 'On the other hand'. There are also issues with referencing; for instance, the phrase 'their is a slight fall' is grammatically incorrect and lacks a clear antecedent. The transition between the overview and the body paragraphs is abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words to connect sentences and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical progression of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and basic. You frequently use 'percentage' and 'age group' without much variation. There are also several word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'men dominates women' (should be 'men dominated women') and 'overtoked' (a misspelling of 'overtook'). The range of vocabulary is limited, which restricts your ability to describe the trends with precision. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied verbs and nouns related to data description, such as 'fluctuated', 'remained stable', or 'a marginal decline'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'There are total six' (missing 'a'), 'men dominates' (subject-verb agreement), 'overtoked' (spelling), and 'their is' (confusing 'there' with 'their'). The sentence structures are relatively simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods in several instances. To improve, focus on basic subject-verb agreement, correct spelling of past tense verbs, and proofreading for minor mechanical errors.

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